Can vacation go on forever?

I'm finally beginning to feel caught up on sleep, family, and friends. For the first time in a long time, I feel like ME again. All the things first semester tried to change or take away have been renewed, and I'm ready, willing, and able to go at it again for five more months. Or I will be after next week.

Talked to Dr. C today, and did better on the Biochem board than expected. Eases my grade worries, and assures me that there'll be no more biochem in my life until Step 1 studying, and then NEVER AGAIN (in the classroom format at least).

Hope everyone's having an AMAZING break. I know I am. Read two real books today and watched two bowl games. NFL: Vikings and Bears up next. Go Bears! Since the Saints aren't showing their best side these days, we're looking for a little help from the Chicago club to help us clinch homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

As this is my med school blog, I find it important to share that I've done absolutely nothing school related since that biochem board on Dec 18th. And I will continue that plight, full speed ahead, for about another 6 days. I'll devote part of Sunday to preparing for going back Monday morning. But until then... life is easy. For the first time in a long time. And I'm IN LOVE with it!

Congrats to all my friends who are now officially M1.5's. We made it!

By the grace of God, we've made it..

Biochem is OVER!! The board was basically insane, I expected no less. But I'm pretty sure that filling my name in on the answer sheet was enough for the grade I need to pull off a passing first semester, and for that I am grateful to God.

It's been an amazing journey so far. I've learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. I've laughed and cried - at the same time, and for two completely different reasons. I've come to realize exactly how little I know - and how much I've learned - in a few short months. And I've also acknowledged how quickly time is flying (Seven more semesters to MD? Wow).

In the midst of the first semester storm, I've made some absolutely AMAZING friends. I don't know what I'd do without y'all! Everyone promised me that it would happen, and it did, right when I needed it the most. We can lean on each other for support, lift each other up in times of need, and laugh all night until our stomachs hurt. Thanks M, N, RA, K, D, J, & P (and anyone I forgot!!) for the kind thoughts, smiles, and "you can do it"s just when I thought I couldn't any more. It will be my honor to refer patients to each and every one of you in the future.

And on that note, it's time to pack and start celebrating! It's going to be the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny f'in Kay! :) I'm coming home, S, A, L(2) mom & dad!!!!

Two tests to go til M1.5!

Two tests til Christmas break!!! I just can't wait to go home and see my friends and family... it's going to be heavenly.

Wednesday night post-gross board "Coat Burning" was WONDERFUL! We had SO much fun. Too much fun to mention, perhaps, but coats were burned and books were burned (shame, I know) and scrubs were burned... and we've joined the ranks of all M.D.'s who made it through Gross Anatomy. Board scores should be back soon... looking forward/not looking forward to that.

Now, just some Biochem stands in the way of me and break. M has been WONDERFUL in teaching me biochem the 2nd half of this semester, couldn't have done it without her. Thank God for great friends, especially those who were biochem majors. I still love Handel and Rutter, but they haven't helped me much in biochem.... :)

Come on, Friday. Time to go home and spend some quality time with S. I hope everyone is having a great "finals" week, and I'm praying for ALLL the M1-M4's who have tests between now and then!

Gross is OVER!!!

Gross Anatomy is OVERRRRR! And barring some absolute disaster, I passed :) The NBME shelf went waaaay better than our typical tests. Much more to the point, straightforward. Head & Neck final block in gross was brutal. Those scores we don't want back.. ever.

A few other scores started rolling in today, phys went better than I expected, and I did awesome on Developmental (from Monday morning). The ones I'm still waiting on will be the worst, so I'll just keep waiting.

Enough about school though - tonight's going to be SO much fun! There are lab coats, dissectors, and lots of other random gross memorabilia to be burned. It's hard to believe we're here, seems like just yesterday we were planning this party and unsure if any of us would still be alive/in med school to attend it!!!

Brain vacation starts NOW.

The final countdown...

Thursday and Friday were interesting... All of the tests so far have been, for lack of better terminology, hell. They went alright, but nothing like I was hoping for. Phys especially was just super tricky. I've heard it's our current teacher. We'll see next semester I guess. That one was kind of a punt anyway, since we've got months of that class to go. Studied my butt off for Histo, and then it was pretty awful as well... ugh.

Praying that luck changes for Monday's Gross & Development (FINAL block!!). I've got a lot more studying to do before Monday, but I'm getting there. It's amazing how little you can know a week before and cram into your brain.. Of course, this leads to massive dumping of information after the tests, but it's survival skills at this point...

National Boards for Gross & Developmental are Wednesday. Don't wanna talk about that, yet. Must get through Monday first.

On that note, I should get back to studying. Needed a sanity break.. but the cranial nerves are calling.

I heard it said a few days ago that this was the worst week and a half of medical school. I believe it.

It's DECEMBER!!

Today is the first day of December.... and the LAST developmental review session, the LAST prelab, and my LAST lab dissection.

It is a beautiful day, and I thought I'd share. :)

17 days til freedom!

I'm coming home.. to the place where I belong...

It's the night before the final "regular" biochem test, and instead of studying, I find myself completely distracted. Tomorrow marks the first time I've gone home since the semester started... And it's a funny feeling. I'm incredibly excited to see family and friends that I haven't seen in WAY too long, and to celebrate Thanksgiving... but then again, school is looming. Comprehensive finals and boards are right around the corner. There's not enough time to do it all, and what am I doing? That's right. I'm taking a few days off.

I'll probably regret it later, but I'll regret it sooner if I lose my sanity before the final stretch even begins. At some point over the weekend, I'll resume studying. I'll wait as long as possible. I'll probably almost lose my mind next week. But some things just can't be replaced. The joy of the holiday season with family, after being away for so long thus far and going through so much, is one of those things. I don't think anyone can truly understand unless you've been here. And this isn't a "down on med school" post. More just "I'm tired. I'm really tired." I'm ready for a REAL break. Not this time when you're supposed to be enjoying life and professors are screaming out the back door "don't forget to pack the skull!" - Ok, maybe they didn't exactly say that... but that's the point.

And my point? I really don't think I had one tonight. Just was looking for something else to do besides study. Anything else. Because I just don't know how much more I can take. Lord, bring lunchtime tomorrow quickly!!!

Just another week in the life of an M1

Things are plugging along here in M1 world. One week and one day until the last regular biochem test. Then "just" a comprehensive final and boards to go. BTW, any of my M2-M4 buddies have any boards tips? (I need all the help I can get on that one).

Yesterday we had a very easy day lecture-wise, and I returned to the NICU for rounds with Dr. K and her residents. I have to tell you guys, she's just the most compassionate, caring attending... definitely giving me a possible false impression of the rest of them... ha! She asked me a few questions, but didn't pimp anyone. I'm glad I did my research so I didn't look like an idiot in front of the residents, but it wasn't intimidating at all. Best of everything, we got to tell a Mom her baby can finally go home! Those are the stories that make the specialty so worth it.

Blackboard has finally decided to work, so I suppose I'll learn a little about the eye (blech) before I go up to the histo lab. However, it's 39 degrees this morning and all I'm thinking about is Christmas break.... (hence the new background).

Praises: My friend Lacey is home from MN and doing great! Her surgery went beautiful and her recovery continues to be a blessing.
Continued Prayers: As always, the NICU babies (I left my heart with them), friends, family, and unspokens. And an uneventful end to biochem!

Amazing week-end turns into amazing weekend!

Friday's biochem test turned out much, much better than I was hoping for. Pleased to see one of my higher grades in the class so far! Only 3 more tests (one regular, comp final, and boards) until the world of biochem goes away for a while...(until Step 1 prep)

The rest of yesterday was pretty darn good as well... and then today I went to JFC for the first time. What a ministry! I was in awe of the privilege I was given and the gratitude of the patients. My first blood draws went great - must run in the family. Mom's a great stick :)

Football today = amazing, as of replays and what I can gather. Hotty Toddy! Looking forward to a Saints victory tomorrow as well.

For the rest of the weekend, I'm getting my gross on. Weren't things much easier when we were kids and the bone of the head was the "skull"? Yeah, not so much anymore...

I've also got to do my research for Rounds in the NICU monday. Looking forward to a self-made long weekend :)

This is why I press on...

Friday in the NICU was like coming home... I realized, after much too long of an absence, that I was indeed back where I belonged. Not only is God doing great things in my life now, He's continuing to prepare the way for me to show His love and blessings to those in need. There's something about watching a 500 gram baby cling to life that leaves me awestruck at His creation everytime. Even on the littlest ones, the sickest ones, those with birth defects or infection - the absolute PERFECTION of His plan is amazing. Tiny fingers, tiny toes, tiny eyelashes. It's every bit perfect. And these angels, whether sent to us for a short time and then called Home or sent here to defy the odds - absolutely make my journey worth it every single day.

In boring, med school related news, Friday's phys test went just fine. Biochem is this Friday. I'm seeking redemption following the metabolism (older med students will recognize this as the "Dr. W & Dr. H test") disaster. I've tried a few new techniques this time... and although I'd jump for joy at a really GOOD grade, passing will make me happy. Biochem is OVER in less than 37 days, praise the Lord!

Sweet November..

So I realize that I haven't posted in quite a while.. decided it was time for an update. Blacktober is OVER and we survived, for the most part. The last round of Gross/Developmental grades are up and I was pleased. These days, having more tests behind me is the most pleasing part!

43 days til Christmas break. 15 more tests to go.

I start shadowing in the NICU at Wiser tomorrow, quite excited about that. I've missed the babies. Looking forward to getting back in the clinical setting and reminding myself what we're going through all this for.

Congrats to HemeOncDoc for passing Step 1!!!!!!!

Update... and 50 days til christmas!

Lacey is doing wonderfully. Continue your prayers that her pain would lessen so that her therapy can proceed quickly and she will only strengthen from here on out. Glory to God!

I got my H1N1 shot this morning. Yay, shots. Ha. I just don't have time for the swine flu in the midst of first-year craziness.

In mention of M1 craziness, we have two tests tomorrow (Biochem, Histo) and three on Monday (Gross Practical & Written, Developmental Anat) followed by Physio next friday. Continue to pray for our class as we are just so absolutely exhausted at this point. FIFTY DAYS TO GO!!!! This is gonna be the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny effin Kay!

Next friday afternoon I start shadowing in the NICU. So very excited :)

A special prayer request..

This post has nothing to do with med school, but I have a good friend that has traveled to University of MN Medical Center for a pancreatectomy, splenectomy, and appendectomy with auto islet cell transplant tomorrow morning, and we would appreciate any prayers you have sent her way!

She has been suffering with chronic pancreatitis for 12.5 years. Dr. Sutherland at University of MN does this procedure, which is among the only in the country proven to provide relief for patients like her. The surgery is scheduled to begin at 7:40 am and will last between 9 and 16 hours. Please remember Lacey & her family (including her husband, Jeremy, and their 10 month old daughter Elyse) in your prayers.

Her testimony can be viewed here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv8MIz5oJ8s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwFJlEzFkgA&feature=related

It's an amazing story, and she's an amazing person. May the Lord be with them tomorrow, and promise her many, many pain-free days to fulfill His purposes!

The sun is shining....

... and Blacktober, Round 1 is OVER!!!
The histology team is wonderful. Frequent rest stops, lots of candy... That was one of the least painful tests since we started med school. About time, too. We're all exhausted, dazed, and confused. Walking around like zombies.
Unfortunately that "awesome" histology team has scheduled a lecture and lab for this afternoon, so no sleep for the weary yet. But oh - it is coming. And it is going to be SO sweet.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. (Psalm 116:7-9)

I see the light...

I've almost made it through. Monday marks the final 2 of the test block. I never thought it would come. I've pulled decent grades out, wasn't as happy with this biochem as I could've been, but after the exhaustive state under which I took the test, I felt pretty good with the outcome.

In other news, we had a very emotionally intense lab today, in which we trisected our cadaver. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Personally, I thought she was fine in one piece. Definitely the most disturbing lab ever... just in time for halloween, the 7th floor is full of legs... ahh.

I'm trying my best not to get overly ill, but the exhaustion has settled into my lungs as an asthma flareup. I wore an awesome mickey-mouse mask (thanks, peds clinic!) during lab today to keep the bone fragments out and my cough in - even though I'm pretty sure I'm not contagious at all, with all the flu stuff, people are wary. For me, it's a combination: lots of germs around (never sat in a classroom with 120+ people during cold/flu season), not enough sleep, and change of weather... which, although it has made me ill, is absolutely AMAZING. I LOVE the cold.

Time to finish the white chicken chili I've got cooking and start preparing for Monday's massacre by histo...

Two asides: It's been exactly a year since I got accepted. How much has changed in a year... Congratulations to the first members of the UMC Class of 2014!!! Enjoy this time!!

Second: VOTE FOR BATSON if you haven't done so yet. Voting ends in an hour!! xbox.childrensmiraclenetwork.org

I love Peds people..

It's been a good week, all things considering. The tests: 8 in 10 days - start tomorrow. NOT excited.

However, we had Peds Career Development today. I talked with Dr. P after and told her I wanted to come spend some time with them. She got me in touch with the NICU docs (already, jeez she works fast!) and I have several days in Oct- November that I'm going to go "play".

In addition, she recommended me for the summer research program and said there was a great chance I could do that in the NICU too.

Maybe this day in, day out struggle really is worth it....
I can't wait to be the babydoc.

(On that note, go vote xbox.childrensmiraclenetwork.org for our kids a new playroom!)

Plugging along...

Things are status quo here in M1 year. We've entered the "point of no return", the October slump. We've got test behind test, two and three a week, for the next thirty days. Lord, pull me through. Help me lean on you!

PIG today - I made cupcakes with Winnie the Pooh (and PIGlet too) cupcake holders. I love PIG.
Bible study is still amazing. Dr. H is wonderful.

Besides that, I guess life as an M1 is pretty boring to the general public, but I'll keep y'all posted :)

Great test week results!

Everything with the tests turned out better than fine - God is so good. I am blessed to remain on this journey for another day.... even though I'm whining about studying tonight, haha.

Mom came up this weekend and did that mom thing - cleaned house, cooked, and generally made me feel like a human being and not a robot again. God bless moms! :)

Tomorrow will be a good day - I have two classes and then I'll be done at ten for the rest of the day. I plan on getting ahead on studying for the next test and getting excited about the two-hour House premiere at 7. I've promised myself that if I study enough I can watch it live instead of tivo'ed later. Ah, the little things...

Have a great week everyone!

Grosssss...

Today was the first Gross/Developmental test marathon.

Parts went great. Parts went pretty icky. I don't think icky enough that they'll kick me out, but let's just say I'm glad the practical and written are averaged, haha. I thought I'd do better on the written and it totally went the other way.

Live and learn, I suppose. It was the first test... It'll just get better. I won't get disheartened. That way, I can look back on this post when they finally get our tests graded (towards the weekend) and remember telling myself that :)

I'm exhausted. The way they do those tests is insane...

Praising God for small miracles..

I genuinely was afraid I'd failed my biochem test yesterday, but ended up doing very well :) Genetics is still up in the air, I'm sure he's trying to figure out how many points to curve (30...40...50... there were def some ppl in our class who didn't study at all).

After that, we did hand dissection. It was our first shot at skinning which was a nightmare. We started at three and left at 530, just as frustrated as ever. Not the idea for today. We're supposed to start at one but our 11 oclock lecture was cancelled, so I'm forgoing small group bible study in order to get that dissection started. I'd ideally like to get home early, but even "on time" would be okay. I was exhausted after the test yesterday and didn't get much if any studying done last night.

God, hold me. Give me strength when I have none - to finish this dissection and begin to hammer all the gross concepts into my head. It's going to be a long few days.

This is what everyone warns you about - being chronically exhausted. Blah. All I want to do is sleep - the one thing I CAN'T do. :(

Just a few more days and three more tests to go until I can breathe again.

A month has passed... really?

We've been in school a month now. Hard to believe. Somedays it feels like it drags, then I look behind me and realize how much we've already gone through. The rundown so far:

Gross - I still like it. I'm not crazy about lab time (or spending time in the lab when I don't have to), but it's alright. Learning the stuff is fascinating. There's a lot of it - but it's all so clinically relevant that I don't mind.

Biochem - I still hate it. This block's first lecturer was better, but then we got another accent... Will I ever get used to the accents?? Downfall of going to a tiny undergrad/grad school I suppose..

Histology - haven't had any this block, we start back next week.

Genetics - I really like Genetics, it's just hard to force yourself to study for something at A) is worth 1% of your grade and B) the professor tells you you can't fail.. He has the weirdest, most hilarious dry sense of humor too. Sometimes I find myself going "I can't believe you just said that..."

Developmental - Pretty sure I'm the only person in the class... that I know of at least... that likes developmental. The self-study is great for me, and I think the material is way interesting.. but that's the babydoc in me I guess.


Tuesday block test: genetics and biochem. Guess what I'll be spending MY weekend doing. Le Sigh. You suck biochem.

I live for the weekend...

This morning we had our Gross Practice Practical. It went really well - I was quite pleased. I need a little more work on my identifying nerves vs arteries, but the rest was good to go.

After lab, I went to try out Berry Berry Good Yogurt. Best idea ever. Best place ever. I'm hooked.

Fat free, sugar free, low calorie - guilt free. 12 flavors and you build your own. My choice today was cheesecake with raspberries, strawberries, blueberries and blackberries :):)

It's been a great day. Time to study biochem.

Week... three?

The days are already starting to blur. Today we started small group bible study, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be one of my favorite parts of the week. Dr H is wonderful (kudos to the M2's and up who recommended the study).

Biochem is still biochem, but this block is better. It makes more sense and I'm a lot happier with the professor.

I still like learning Gross and Developmental Anat... the tests are going to be heck, but Rohen's and the Moore book are my second bibles these days. So far, I'm doing better at identifying the structures than identifying what they do. Ah. It'll come :)

Ummm... other than that, yeah, life's pretty much study study study. I will NOT get discouraged. God brought me here and He will bring me through it. Every day I wake up, I'm thankful for the opportunity I have - to whine, moan, complain, and spend entirely too much time studying.

Thank you, God. I can't wait to serve you as a physician :)

Happy Birthday to Me!

So, nothing says you're an M1 like spending your birthday in the gross anatomy lab...

PIG was so much fun yesterday. Dr. C. is awesome. K and I are both gonna be M1 reps for this year and I'm excited about that. Sounds like a lot of baking and playing with kids - both of which I love :)

Genetics is a treat in and of itself. These powerpoints are insanely long, and its so depressing/non-motivating that the class counts like 1.4% of our final grade.

My family is coming into town tonight! So excited!

Hope everyone has a great weekend...

I PASSED!

I passed my biochem test and owned the histology one :) Yay for first tests being out of the way!

PIG tomorrow. Couldn't be more excited.

Met my cadaver yesterday. She's skinny. Very, very skinny. We also received a box of bones, which I promptly had my lab partner take home. Human bones in my house are just a little creepy at this time.

With all that was going on yesterday, preparing for the tests, I didn't have time to do the reading for Gross... and Gross (this block at least) is going to be an adventure, considering that our lecturer has one of the thickest accents ever. Yay for hours of wasted time sitting there listening, then more hours of coming home and memorizing.

Anyway, I had to share my celebration. Back to the grind! :)

Yay for a new week!

I'm feeling much better about last week's material and excited to start anew for several reasons:

CMDA on Tuesday at lunch, be there....
PIG on Thursday at lunch - come nominate yours truly and K for M1 reps! BabyDocs FTW! I'm so pumped....
There's that birthday thing on Friday :) ...


Gross Anatomy starts this week. That's a combination excitement/dread.

Then there's that test thing on Wed that I'm not quite so excited about. But it'll be over soon.

Yeah, it's gonna be a great week.

One week down... 36 to go :)

The end of the week finally came! It was an amazing ride this week, learning lots of neat stuff... even when it's something really boring, it's cool to see it all put together in a big picture. And oh, what bliss there is to 64 hours of no new material! I finally had a chance to get through all of it... and it's not nearly as intimidating as it seemed. The biochem is definitely more intense than the histo, but it's almost all do-able (I've yet to get all the math problems down... stupid math).

Of course, Dr. Hawaiian Shirt still has a few lectures to give on Monday... But it's all good. I'm not there yet, but I know I'm on my way... Bring it, first test!

(Just wait til Wed, please :))

In other news, we'll be starting Gross on Tuesday. That will be an interesting turn of events. Kind-of hoping I get assigned to group B so I'm not dissecting on my birthday... But, the way things normally go, I'll be knee deep in formalin for 4 hours. And my family can enjoy the smell of it over dinner, because I've heard that showers don't necessarily rid you of the odor.

Yes - that's right. The family's coming to town next weekend and I cannot wait. Yay for birthdays!

(And now, back to biochemistry...)

Med school 101

The first week is going pretty well. It's a lot of material, but I'm hanging in there... I've gotten a schedule down pretty well and I'm keeping my head above water. Just keep swimming right? One day at a time...

I got CPR trained yesterday. My trainer commented that my infant technique was the best she'd seen in a long time. Hmm... wonder why.... With the adults, on the other hand, I had to get on a stool (so I'll be the doc riding through the hall , hovering over the patient's chest to do compressions on them...). Nonetheless, i'm all clear so if you happen to cardiac arrest with me there, I'm ready, willing, and (practically) able.

So far, biochem is the suck and histo is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

That's my med-school-in-three-minutes overview. I'll try to post again this weekend. First test: a week from today!

Here goes: day one..

Tomorrow morning we begin the journey. I've printed the powerpoints and done all the assigned reading... and indeed, like everyone said, it's a LOT. But I'm going in with the "I can do" attitude and setting up the routine.

Apparently, pre-reading (or skimming) the material, going to lecture, and the post-reading is the method most people seem to think is most helpful. I've used this method in the past and it worked, so we're going to keep it up. I can't bring myself to try to take notes on the powerpoints just yet - ask me again tomorrow night. For now, I'm killing trees and printing it all. (Yes, it's a lot of trees.. but its my printer, my ink, and paper that's already been made). I'll be taking notes the old-fashioned way tomorrow. It sticks better when I write it, so I'll have to figure out a good hybrid of writing/typing that is most efficient.

We have a CMDA dinner/meet and greet tonight at 6 that I'm really looking forward to. Should be a great chance to meet people along the same wavelength as me and establish a good faith support system.

One time, in med school orientation...

So far, I've learned...
1) Orientation is incredibly boring and long-winded
2) Everyone really wants us to succeed, which is nice. The scaring the pants off of us has been kept to a minimum.
3) I am entitled to, and now own, the infamous white coat. It was an absolutely WONDERFUL evening - one that I will never forget. For indeed it was in that moment that I married this career and set forward on my journey.

Tomorrow is 8-1 and then we have been sufficiently oriented and are free to begin class. Monday morning. 8 am. See ya there.

Favorites, new and old..

Jackson isn't so bad. For example, there's a NY&Co and Victoria's Secret almost within walking distance from my house. Then there's this fabulous restaurant called the "Corner Bakery" that I could eat three meals a day at.

I can't believe school starts on Tuesday. It's absolutely insane to watch your dreams come true in front of your eyes. Meeting up with my M2 buddy for dinner tomorrow night, which should be a good nerve-stabilizer the night before orientation begins.

On a sour note, the internet on my cellular device has decided not to work this weekend. I probably need to do a "tower update" for the new area... I have to do them every year or so, but always forget to write down the instructions. I emailed CellSouth (hate going there when it isn't necessary), but it's Sunday, soo....

I think I'll try to find the mall tomorrow avoiding I-55. Good times.

Oh yeah, and for those of you following: Med school starts in 41 hours.

An overdue update...

Things are going well here in Jackson. Friday I reported to the VA with my fellow F-H's. What a treat that was... three hours of fingerprinting, signing forms, and wondering what we had gotten ourselves into. (I would assume that orientation will be just as enlightening, only 4 days long..) They sent us home with this fun e-qip thing to fill out and about a hundred references of character to get (okay, i'm exaggerating, but only slightly). I tried to log on to it all weekend to no avail. Monday I called and come to find out they had spelled my name wrong in the system and that's why I couldn't get in! I was able to log in, change my name, fill out all the forms, etc.

Dad came up for the weekend. We had a good time. Just ran around a bit, showed him the school, etc. Monday I went to Batson and got a tshirt and badge holder...

Tuesday I had an appointment with my new doctor up here, Dr. P. He's wonderful. It was a bit of a stress to get established as I had to do some tests and such (and UMC is a MUCH bigger place than my previous hospitals/clinics). Kinda funny to be a patient before a student, but whatever it takes I suppose. It's nice to know I have a doc and I can call (or Student Health can) if I need him. Plus, he's probably going to be teaching me at some point in M3-M4 years... so... (it's never a bad idea to start knowing people that could possibly write LORs at some point!)

It's been raining a lot this week. I think the sun is finally coming out, so I may run around a bit this afternoon. I haven't done much shopping lately!

Five days to go!

Book list & Insurance...

Today I got the book list - met up with K at the bookstore, that was kind-of fun and unexpected. We were both ISBN and good price searching. Seems to have worked out well. Haven't ordered a lot b/c I'm going to meet with my buddy first and see her recommendations. I did order a few essentials, and I picked up my DISSECTION KIT!!! at the bookstore. (Sorry, getting a bit excited here). Funny thing is - the dissection kit doesn't seem very complex... I keep wondering how in the HECK these tiny hemostats are going to be good for anything.

Tomorrow morning I report to the VA for some kind of fun fingerprinting of sorts. Should be entertaining if nothing else.

11 days til orientation!!

All moved in!

I'm all moved in and getting settled! :)

It's been too hectic to post, but expect a lengthy update soon. VA for pre-processing Friday. Went to UMC today to turn in health insurance stuff, etc. Book lady was out - but I'll check on Wednesday and let you all know if our book list is ready yet.

See you guys soon!

Moving van...

The moving van will be here tomorrow - we will pull out Friday morning early. Please keep us in your prayers for safe travel and dry weather. Moving in the rain seriously stinks!

Got some more correspondence from school - the hard copies of the VA stuff (must call them Monday and set something up to go in and get my fingerprints done), summer reading, and all the health insurance info. I'll be sorting through the rest of it over the weekend after the move.

STEP scores come out for the M3's tomorrow... all of you are in my prayers and I just know you are going to do wonderfully! Hard to believe we will be there in just two short years....

Less than one week!

One week from today I will be utterly exhausted from unpacking... It's surreal that it's time to go. Mom's headed up and we're going to finish packing this weekend. Tomorrow morning it is massage time, yay!!

I'm already tired from all the last minute get-togethers and there are several more to come. Praying the transition is fairly easy and that homesickness doesn't kick in before I have a chance to get comfortable up there.

I talked to a doctor friend yesterday who told me that the hardest part of med school is the month before med school - when you've invested in this future you know nothing of and you are fabricating horror stories about what is to come. He says it gets better once you realize that you're basically just back in the lecture hall - with new people and less pressure for a 4.0. It was a refreshing insight into the world of medicine I needed at the time, and even if it isn't true, I choose to live in my delusion for the next few weeks.

Eventually the pattern had to reverse...

We've turned to sleep(less) and productivity!

On Thursday, Mom took me for my last regular appointment with the pulmonologist here. I'll be picking up a new one in Jackson. The appointment went fine, I'm a pretty good patient when I'm not sick. Got Rx's written for a year (just in case, with God's help, I don't manage to get sick).

Then I asked for the shot. Ugh. Five years ago, I got my first dose of the pneumonia shot. It worked REALLY well. As in, I haven't had a documented case of pneumonia in five years. I had a total of 14 chest xray & blood documented episodes before the age of 18 (along with several close calls or self/doctor diagnoses), so this was a huge milestone. I had done some reading about the shot and realized that I probably needed a second dose, due to my level of activity with the disease and the fact that my only real close call in the past five years was this past season.

The bad part? I had a reaction to this shot five years ago. They gave it in the deltoid and I had such a skin/muscle reaction that we considered not getting another. Then we had the amazing results. So skin reaction aside, I knew it was necessary. This time, the reaction was more pronounced. I countered it with benadryl every 4 hours, but by the evening of the first day I was miserable. By the time it was said and done (today, I believe, we're finally receding), the shot site was about 3"x5". It's not "hot" or spreading anymore and the redness is completely gone. Thanks be to benadryl and prednisone. This is a shot that won't have to be repeated for a very long time, if ever, so I'm officially good to go.

Side effect of prednisone has and always will be insomnia for me. So even the low, 2-day dose caused me an exhilirating sleep time of THREE HOURS last night. On the upside, when I have to take it in med school I'm uber productive. It's kind of nice to be able to function well on no sleep.

The packing has come to a standstill because all that's really left is clothes. We did a lot this weekend, and there's a ton of stuff that's still packed from when I moved in with Dad. The coolest part about having my own place again? Probably seeing all this stuff that has been packed for 8+ months!

So all the paperwork is in, ALL the shots and dr visits are complete, and my beautiful, custom-made storage ottoman from La-Z-Boy is in the production stages. It'll take a bit longer than my other furniture, but it'll be worth waiting for :)

Hope everyone else had a wonderful 4th... I'm full speed ahead into two weeks of whirlwind breakfast, lunch, dinner, and coffee "see you laters" with friends as I get ready to finally start this process. Bring it on!

Another week filled with sleep and (less) productivity.

Monday I got my final shot! Sent off all my paperwork to the Registrar, and Mrs. V confirmed it has arrived and I've been cleared with their department to register :)

Yesterday I went and bought new glasses... went ahead and got two pair since I found two that were fairly reasonable. I don't wear my glasses all that much, but I only buy them every 5 years or so, which makes it a decent investment. I like both pairs enough that I certainly CAN wear them if I need to.

Also finished up the rest of the loan paperwork and sent it in. It hasn't gotten to Jackson yet, but it went a day or two later than the health forms. Should be there within the next day or so.

Today I started cleaning out clothes and drawers of junk to begin the packing process. How one can accumulate so much junk in such a short period of time I'll never know. Thankfully I know someone who's very interested in my undergrad and will love the stack of t-shirts I rescued from the dresser... And I have a 13 year old cousin who is just about my size (go ahead, make the snide remarks... I can't help it i'm one inch away from actually being a little person) and will love all the clothes I'm getting rid of. I wish I would've had an older cousin passing stuff to me!

Tomorrow I'll get prescriptions written for a year and Mom'll be here to help me stay on task a little better with the packing. I'm pretty much a 6 week old Cocker Spaniel puppy in regards to my attention span with this. Thankfully, there's not much to do. We should be able to have an enjoyable 4th, packing aside :)

33 days and counting!

Furniture, shots, and stamps, oh my!

Saturday was our fun trip to Miskelly's. I found a very cool chair-and-a-half that doubles as a twin sleeper... so I get to keep my couch (which sleeps WONDERFULLY) and have places for two people to stay in the living room. I'm getting them to price out an ottoman... I really like it (it's a La-Z-Boy and they would custom cover it in a really cool pattern that would blend with all the furniture). We'll see how much it is and then go from there.

We went by the apartment on our way to the furniture store - it was my first time to go since I know what unit I'll be in and I absolutely LOVE the location - couldn't ask for a better one!

Saturday morning I mailed off the rest of my health forms. Saturday when we got home from Jackson I had a horrible migraine (one of the worst in a while) so I pretty much went straight to bed. When I got up in the middle of the night to eat, I checked my email and found an update from Mrs. Virginia regarding orientation, our email address, and portal log-on info. I was able to check all my loan/scholarship stuff there and I will be mailing the rest of the paperwork out in the morning.

This week I'll be going to get my final shots, my last doctor's appt with my pulmonologist here (I will have a new one in Jackson), and order my glasses. This upcoming weekend, the packing begins!

Hope everyone is doing great. I'm not ready yet, but I'm getting there :)

36 days to go!

One week closer..

Another week has passed. My physical is complete and I'm mailing my paperwork off in the next day or two.

Mom and I are headed up to Flowood this weekend to furniture shop at some awesome store called Miskellys. Apparently the store is large enough to have a carousel inside. Surely I'll be able to find living room furniture here. I figure it'll be easier to buy it there and have them deliver direct rather than buy it here and then move it.

I ordered some school supplies today - highlighters by the dozen/2 dozen (My four favorite colors to use, of course), several packs of 500 count index cards, and post-it flags. All of these things I have heard are wonderful commodities for med school.

Our M1 schedule is out and I went by Office Depot and bought my planner. I spent the last two days color-coordinating the first year of my medical career life (at least the preliminaries). It's already pretty full... Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze "Study" in there somewhere..

I'm also going to get back on the running wagon this week as I've been awful lazy lately. Everyone told me to spend my summer doing "next to nothing", and I've taken them literally!

A rare double post in one day... and my thoughts on the white coat ban...

Two quick updates: Talked to Dr. F, and he's totally cool with meeting me at the office/house over the weekend to do my physical. Score!

48 days til med school. No, really, FORTY EIGHT days. Eek!

Oh, and my thoughts on the white coat ban - Since we aren't supposed to wear the coats, long sleeves, or ties (for the men), here's an idea of the future doctor uniform:

A new background for a new season...

I decided the black flowers were a little dark when there was nothing but sunshine ahead and temperatures in the 90's for months to come! I found aqua poppy designs through a fellow blogger, and they are absolutely amazing. There's a link right on the top left of my page if you're interested in a new beautiful background for your blog.

In other news, the rest of my loan has been approved! I'm all ready to go, financially at least. The same day I got the final loan paperwork I also got my final apartment paperwork. I'll be checking in July 17th... One month to go.

Being unemployed is interesting. I've been able to completely mess up my sleep schedule, as well as spend time with all the people who matter most. I'd like to say I'm cherishing every moment. I'm working out less and eating more... all in a day's "not work", I suppose. I'm going to get back on the wagon soon. I'm taking a little time to learn to relax and let go... I think it's one of the most important lessons of all.

My PCP was booked for "well consults" through the end of the month, which has put my health paperwork in jeopardy to be on time. Thankfully, formally mentioned Dr. F is going to step in and save the day. It's not like I never go to the doctor - I've probably had several physicals already this year. I just need an up to date one. Hopefully I'll get that taken care of either Friday, Monday or Tuesday while I'm home for Father's Day. Shots are almost done... one more at the end of the month and possibly a pneumonia vaccine (I think it's due this year... and It's really worked for me).

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week thus far! Drop me a line :)

The continuation of a summer of nothing...

This week, I got back to town and then went to M & S's (brother-in-law and sister) for a few days. S and I had a wonderful time - M is out of town with the youth on a Fuge trip, so we got to spend three days living like we were in college again. I miss them already and haven't even moved yet.. right now, I'm only about 20 minutes from her at any given time..

I'm sad that I keep missing pre-orientation fun (Free Clinic orientation, Habitat stuff, etc)... different members of the class are really starting to bond and it sucks that I'm not able to be there much yet. Oh well, I suppose there'll be plenty of time for bonding come August 4th as we spend the next 4+ years together.

Hopefully I'll have time the second half of July to squeeze in a little mentoring time with my buddy and get together with K... and maybe J + D as well. Then it'll be off to the races.

Tomorrow I'm going to eat with my friend A and we may do some shopping/looking. After I sleep in of course - my sister is a notorious early riser, which means I've kept her up late and she's gotten me up early since Wednesday!

Prayer requests: As usual, all the babies fighting for life in the NICU at FGH (that unit has such a special place in my heart); my brother in law and the youth at Fuge, continued help with goodbyes and anxieties about relocating, and a few unspokens. Thanks guys! :)

Family

I have the most amazing, quirky, crazy, supportive, and loving family support network ever. The party was fun and it was wonderful to see everyone.

Dr. F came and brought me his personal copy of "On Doctoring" from his white coat ceremony. That was so neat to me - he wrote a note in it and made sure to give me some extra heartfelt advice even in the midst of the party. There have been several doctors I've shadowed that really helped me along, but he's probably the one that meant the most - that I was the closest to. Even though I'm not necessarily planning on staying in his specialty, I learned oh so much from him. And age wise, he's the youngest I shadowed so it was easier to relate to him...

Several heartfelt cards, and a book that I intend to read every word of. I can't wait to be that mentor for another young medical student, when I pass on my copy of "On Doctoring" to a new generation.

It is done!

The hardest goodbyes have been said... I finished work on Friday, and walked out of Tatum Court for the last time as an employee. I'm sure I'll be visiting some this summer... but as a student and employee, I am officially done.

My coworkers and friends could not have done a better job making the day memorable and as fun as possible. The baby even came up at the end of the day to lighten the mood :). I love you all sooo much and you know I have a second bedroom in Jxn, so you better come recruiting up north! Ha!

I took off for home the following day, and I'm settling in to a routine of no routine. It's the first Sunday night in a long time that I haven't truly dreaded Monday. I do have an eye doctor appt AND dentist appt (ICK! Nicole, hurry up and start/finish dental school!) tomorrow though. If the dentist finds anything, he's gonna do fillings while I'm there hopefully. I may have to go back one more time.

Wednesday I'm getting my hair done - and for those of you who've only known me in college, it may look a little weird... but I'm going back dark (almost natural) since I won't have time to keep it up in med school and I think it looks awful growing out. Oh yeah, I'm chopping it off too...

Then this weekend is the big going-away bash! It's mainly family and family friends, so there won't be any tears there - I know I'll be seeing all those people again it just may be a little while. We may make a visit up to J-town to secure the apartment as well.

It's getting closer... and I'm getting excited. Here we go!

Last week

Last week of work. It's bittersweet- the long weekend totally ruined me and made me look forward to the sleeping in days, but of course I'm going to miss everyone here. Seems like forever ago and just yesterday that I got the news I was accepted and decided on May 29th as my last day of work.

I'm so excited to get moved and settled in to a routine. Looking forward to spending my days in the lecture halls, and really looking forward to being in the hospital/clinic again. In post-bacc and master's work, there were times I felt l couldn't do any more. Those days, I shadowed or volunteered.. found a place where I was needed, made a difference, and remembered the reason for all the work. It never failed, the next morning I was good to go again. To touch just one child is to make a difference - to touch so many is something I stand in awe at. I saw one of the kids I assisted on in the NICU last summer recently - she's a bright, happy, healthy one year old that is doing so well. It's amazing to see miracles in action.

Work is busy so far this week, which is good. The days and goodbyes won't drag.

Please keep me in prayer this week as I get ready to say my goodbyes/see-you-laters to a world I've become so accustomed to over the past six years. Also please be in prayer for a special little boy who is fighting for his life in the Batson PICU. I've grown to love him through his blog alone, and I can only imagine the wonderful person he truly is. I'm sure his family would appreciate any extra prayers you guys can afford to him.

Buddy List!

The buddy list came out today - it was our first chance to actually get a complete class roster to look at, see where everyone was from, and find out who our M2 buddy was. It's one step closer to August 4th!

Of course, being the overachiever that I am, I already "aggravated" my buddy. Hopefully she's on a nice vacation somewhere, celebrating finishing M1 year, and won't be bothered by my trivial email for a couple weeks, ha. I just got so excited with the new info that I couldn't help myself from dropping an email.

Watching the Dancing with the Stars finale and hoping Shawn Johnson wins, although the sexy French guy is pretty amazing too. I miss my gymnastics days so much. Shawn is just so cute! Her artistry reminds me a lot of myself in gymnastics years ago (of course I wasn't that good... haha).

I finished my read-through of Lippincott's Biochem today. Yay! Probably didn't learn much, but it didn't hurt at all. I can't believe I've only got 7 days left of work. Ready or not, here it comes...

Life in the Arctic..

As I look to my final two weeks at WCU, I can't help but think of all the fun outfits I'll be able to wear and things I'll be able to do when the constant environmental temperature is above 65. Yesterday, we started out at 57.8 degrees and warmed up to slightly above 60. When I got home last night, after my 30 minute drive (in the 90 degree heat, with no air on, mind you) my internal temperature was 96.8. Almost two full degrees below normal. That's pitiful.

Today, I came prepared with an additional sweatshirt and my heating pad. We're sitting in the mid-sixties right now, so it's not as bad as yesterday... but I'm prepared!

I'm also looking forward to getting some extra sleep this summer- something I haven't done in a very long time and probably won't do again for even longer. The anxiety is settling in a little, but so is the excitement.

As far as work goes, awards week is going decent. Monday wasn't bad at all - and after tomorrow, I'm completely done with ceremonies. I actually have a morning AND night tomorrow. I'm feeling a little under the weather and hoping I'm not getting sick - but the office temperature makes me think a cold may be immenent.

And even though I'm not supposed to pre-study, I've made it almost all the way through Lippincott's Biochem and most of Moore's Clinically Oriented Anatomy. I by no means get it all, but I've understood more than I thought possible... at least it won't all be a foreign language on first day.

Tonight is the Grey's season finale... two hour special! It's pizza night at my house so that all the attention can be on the television. Will Izzie die (possibly)? Will George join the military (I think so)? Will Derek & Meredith (finally) tie the knot (I doubt it)? Will we be left hanging in the way we were when Private Practice reached the end of its season? Ah, the possibilities...

Happy Mother's Day to My Mom

Happy Mother's Day... to my mom and all of you out there who are moms, surrogate moms, or any other inspirational woman in my life... I love you all. We had a great, quiet weekend and mom had a really good day.

I have completed all of the preliminary financial aid paperwork and it is signed and sealed. Also applied for my MPN today. It is fabulously easy to borrow money for med school... almost scary how easy it is.

The rest of the checklist is:
-Last shots due 6/1
-TB test/physical form June
-Dentist & Eye Doc - 6/1 & 6/2 (I'm going to 24 hour contacts for convenience on dry-eye days)
-Hair Appt - 6/3
-Family/friend going away party - 6/6
-Move 7/3

One of the doctors that helped a lot with my shadowing, letters, and overall encouragement during this journey so far is going to stop by the party for a little while... that means a lot to me.

This is going to be a busy, busy week at work. Award Ceremony Hell, some may call it. I'm only covering three this week (one tomorrow night, two on Friday) but all of the recruiters have one behind the other. In addition, finals finish up Monday and Tuesday, so there are more goodbyes to be said this week. The summer work studies are off, preparing for and taking finals, so I'll be covering tours this week too (and reverting to my undergrad days... sigh). And V (my coworker's daughter) has her chemistry final in high school next week, and the crazy teacher is giving a test THIS week as well... so I'm tutoring Monday. A classic case of crazy teacher who probably is really smart but can't explain anything... I'm no teacher, but she's really smart and picks up quickly when we go over things. He must be THAT bad, because I know I'm not THAT good.

I hope everyone has a fabulous week! Hang in there all of you newly minted M3 step-studiers :)

The end of an era...

Last night was the final night of my final class at Carey. It was a bittersweet night. I was glad to be done, but at the same time I was sad to be at the end of a road I've traveled for so long. I didn't get melancholy when I finished my undergrad because I knew I was returning for post-bacc and master's work. This time, it's real. And real is scary.

I'm excited and terrfied. I can't wait to get started, but jumping into the unknown is frightening. I'll feel a lot better once I get settled and get started. Leaving is the hardest part.

I've never been good at goodbyes, and I guess I never will be.

Welcome to the world of debt...

My financial aid package arrived on Wednesday. It actually is quite promising. My loans are all Federal, so the interest rates are good - I won't need any alternative loans or PLUS loans. Plus there's some scholarship money in there which helps a lot.

It's a solid investment, but debt scares the heck out of me. I know I've been blessed to keep out of it this long. Here goes a new horizon - as I sign my life away :)

In other news, today is the last Preview Day I'll be a part of at WCU. I'm actually in the office instead of in the middle of it, which is probably a good thing. I get sort of sentimental over these things. Today marks my 8th one, and it's really odd knowing I won't be here in July for the next one.

God's walking beside me and leading the way. I know I'm doing the right thing. I just wish leaving didn't have to hurt so bad.

Welcome to the M Zeroes....

The luncheon was fun yesterday. My trip to Jackson overall was a stressful one, everything just seemed to go wrong... then I got to the luncheon and the 11:00-1:00 sign that was posted in the lobby thoroughly freaked me out. Turns out they reserved the first hour for catering, so we really weren't late.

The first few minutes were sort of awkward... no one wanted to talk... then Dr. C acknowledged this fact and we all laughed a bit and started opening up. In some ways, it's just like starting college where you don't know anyone. In other ways, it's completely different. For one thing, college is a mix of fun and study, where med school is such an investment. Of course we'll find ways to have fun along the way but when you get a bunch of pre-meds together who've been in competition for years and suddenly try to get them to be friends, I suppose it takes a little time :)

By the end, we had made a core group of 4 at our table that talked quite a bit. It's going to make orientation MUCH easier having met a significant number of people and actually getting to know a few. K and I are going to meet up this summer and spend a little time together before all hell breaks loose August 4th :) J was there, which was nice because I did know him a bit before. I also met D, who is very cool as well.

Just from what I saw yesterday, I think our class is going to mesh really well. We got some valuable info at the luncheon:
-financial aid should arrive anytime in the next few weeks
-buddy list will come out the end of may and the m1's that were there were really really excited about us coming in and assure us that they'll be a great resource
-more orientation info and student affairs info will come in the first part of June.

I had an overwhelming day where I was a little more freaked out and less excited... but today it's flipped around again :)

Getting involved...

Sometimes I feel as though I'm missing out because I'm not yet in the Jackson area. Ms. Kim sends emails all the time with things to do... and I'd love to be a part. This job stuff is for the birds!

I'm so glad I'll be able to make it up for the luncheon. Praying the financial aid stuff gets here in the next few days, I'd like to be able to bring it all back Tuesday in case I have questions (I could run by and talk to them about it). This will probably be my last trip to Jackson before move-in, unless something necessary comes up. Of course it'll be a lot easier to get up there when the 8-5 is over.

Headed to the coast this weekend for a short family time. Dad and I are just gonna ride together. I'll be back on Sunday, but I'll have to miss church. I bet my Sunday school class is wondering where I am...

As far as work goes, my last day is May 29th. I have three award ceremonies to cover this year that will each give me a little comp time.. but next Tuesday is my last planned day off.

101 days to go. Ready or not... It's getting closer and closer.

Blueberry cheesecake..

Blueberry cheesecake from the Pastry Garden made my Monday fabulous. It was also a very late lunch, so it made the rest of the day go by quickly.

Don't want to go to class tonight - only three weeks left. Tonight's supposed to be the final night of presentations, then we have the final, then a final night that's supposed to be for individual papers/presentations. She said something about us having a take home final though, so we'll see.

I can't believe I'm three weeks away from being done with classes at Carey for good. I'm starting to miss the place already.

Six months ago...

Six months ago, I was accepted to medical school. What a blessed, happy, exhilarating (yet sleepless) day that was.

Less than four months from now, classes will begin. Sometimes it feels like it's been forever, sometimes I wonder where the time went. Everyday seems to rush by a little faster.

Parts of me are beyond ready (110 days!), and parts of me, I worry, never will be. I'm just grateful that God and I are in this together - and He will carry me through the anxiety.

I'm really excited about catching up with some people at the luncheon. Everyone better be there!

Incoming student luncheon

So, we're having this incoming student luncheon thing on April 28th. I'm really hoping I can make arrangements to go - seems like it will be fun (plus it's always good to meet people). This is the closest thing to a "second look" that we have, and although I don't need a "second look", I haven't been up in a while - might be nice :)

We'll see how that comes together. For now, it's back to the drudgery of work. Ordered Lipincott's so that I can start doing some reading for biochem as it will probably be my most hated subject.

Hope everyone had a blessed Easter weekend. I'm actually going to skip class tonight (first time of the trimester). Didn't get much sleep last night due to the bad weather, and we have four class presentations scheduled for tonight, which means it will last til ten. I just don't have a ten oclock evening in me!

Layout

New layout. Not exactly what I was looking for, but it's different.

Specialty Test...

Cause all the cool kids are doing it...


1 pediatrics 47
2 physical med & rehabilitation 45
3 rheumatology45
4 hematology 45
5 dermatology43
6 colon & rectal surgery 43
7 family practice 43
8 anesthesiology 42
9 med oncology42
10 radiation oncology41
11aerospace med41
12 psychiatry 40
13 preventive med40
14 occupational med 40
15 ophthalmology 40
16obstetrics/gynecology 40
17 emergency med40
18 gastroenterology 40
19 endocrinology 39
20 infectious disease 39

Pretty good. Peds is #1 by a couple of points, not surprising. #3, #4, #6, #18, #19, #20 all are good, if they are peds subspecialties. I've thought about #9 and #10 as well (as pediatric subspecialties)

Of this list I have no real interest in family med/preventative , phys rehab, opht., or Emergency.

The only thing outside of peds would be #16, OB/Gyn.

Ask me again in 3 years :)

Moore's Anatomy...

I've begun my journey of pre-studying into an unknown world. Let's face it, most of Moore's page by page seems to be Latin, German, or any other language I don't know at this point. It's sort of frightening. At the same time, I've been surprised at how much I've picked up in a short time and feel as though this whole med school thing might work out after all :).

As of now, my opinion is that Moore's BlueBoxes >>>> any other page of the book. Blue boxes are amazing!

I'll keep reading, and keep absorbing about 0.0001%. I figure that's one ten-thousandth more than I knew before. And maybe, just maybe, I'll recognize something I hear on the first day.

Scholarships, continued...

I got word yesterday that I was selected to receive one of our local hospital's scholarships for the upcoming fall semester. Every dollar saved is a dollar I don't have to pay back, so this was a God send!

It's been a good weekend. Lazy and refreshing. I needed the break. It's a short week due to the upcoming holidays.

Church this morning started off an amazing Holy Week. I pray you are all blessed as we approach Easter. :)

Only 120 days til orientation!!

Time for an overdue update...

It's been quite a while since I updated. Nothing much is going on, but I figured I should at least check in.

My ear buds, mouse, external hard drive, travel charger, and USB drive have all arrived...my laptop is sitting at the FedEx store. Dad has to go fetch it, they wouldn't leave it without a signature. This was an exciting, first big med-school purchase.

I can't believe April is already here. 124 days until orientation. The White Coat Ceremony will be August 6th from 6-8pm (posted on the UMC calendar).

Spring Break has come to an abrupt end...

Spring Break is over, way too quickly. I feel like the whole thing was a blur.

In one aspect, I'm looking forward to a busy and routine week. Maybe it'll help settle my feelings. Church this morning did a good job of starting. Eddie's sermon was on worry & anxiety. We're currently studying the Sermon on the Mount, and part of this morning's passage was as follows:

"Your heavenly Father already knows all of your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
-Matthew 6:33-34

It's a passage I've always found great comfort in, and once again this morning, His love surrounded me in these words and in the congregation.

My Sunday school class has become a source of great blessing in the past month as well. Something that started so simple (as a Lenten vow) has become a great comfort and fellowship for me. I guess it's true that God truly knows our needs before we do.

What a wild ride this spring break has been... the ups and downs of the past few weeks in general can hardly be measured. I take comfort in the One who stands beside me, walks in front of me to show the way, and follows behind so that I don't get left.

135 days til orientation. I can only gaze in awe at what amazing things the Lord has in store between now and then.

Death is not fair....

Over the past week, I've struggled with more than one death, and I've come to realize that not only is life unfair, but death is also.

Early this week, a coworker and his wife had a miscarriage. It was a prayed for, worked for, dreamed of baby... and seems so unfair that they would be the ones to lose one.

Then, a friend lost her father quite unexpectedly. He had an extensive, but somewhat routine, surgery done on Tuesday. Wednesday he went downhill all day, and an extensive bleed was discovered too late. He bled out Wednesday night. Not only was it unexpected, but it was somewhat preventable. I'm sure the hospital will be doing an M & M case on it. Had the surgeon been consulted even two hours earlier, he probably could've done something...

What I've learned is that life, and death, are quite unfair. The most Godly can be the most tested. And things are never easy. When I'm the doctor, I will write orders no matter how "common sense" they seem, to try to alleviate the health care professional "wait and see" approach. I will try to never forget that the family as well as the patient must be treated.

My heart is broken for my friends. I don't know what to do or what to say. I'm sending my love and my prayers, and feel like I can't even begin to do enough.

Spring Break!

It is officially Spring Break around here! Three blissful days of no work & sleeping in... definitely looking forward to that.

I started doing some pre-studying this week. I know, I know. Everyone says "don't do it". But I'm not everybody. On the upside, Moore's Clinically Oriented Anatomy is fascinating. Studying is completely different now... it's like every sentence I read actually applies to real life, as opposed to college where you could or could not be getting something out of the studying.

I pray my zest for learning is intensified as I go through my years of training and that I don't become numb to the miracle of this knowledge. May every breath I take and every decision I make be used to the glory of God, that He may be glorified.

139 days until orientation.
51 days left of work.

I'm reading a book called "A Balm for Gilead" by Dr. Daniel Sulmasy right now. I'd like to share the following prayer from this book:

"Thus my prayer for my brother and sister physicians is that, like the man born blind,

You would announce to everyone you see that you have been transformed by his power, even if you do not understand how;
That you would name him as the one who has healed you;
That you would go to him
And when he asks you, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?" and you find yourself asking, "Who is he, that I may believe in him?"
That you might recognize the truth of his words when he says "You have seen him."

For you have seen him - in eyes yellowed with jaundice and wide as saucers.
You have heard him - in the cries of the crippled, wondering aloud how God ever allowed this to happen.
You have touched him - in the bloody wounds of the traumatized.
(You could have felt the nails if only your own fingers had been healed.)
You have known the wonder of his presence in the moments of healing that occur over and over again each day, moments in which you have been privileged to share in his healing works.

So, when he asks you, say, "Lord, I believe". And worship him. For he is what healing means. "


I just thought that was a fitting prayer, and worthy of sharing with you all. May we all continue to strive toward the prize.

More of the same...

Things are status quo here... moving along a little at the time. 144 days to go. Sometimes it seems extremely soon, other times it still seems like forever.

Next week is the priority deadline for all our financial aid stuff and hopefully they'll start putting our packages together. I'm ready for some concrete information about where all the $$ is going to come from. In the meantime, I'm relying on God for patience to help me get through this transition time.

For the fourth year med students, next week is that amazingly special week when the big "Match" happens. Hard to believe that four years from now, I'll be in that place. How very exciting! :) Best of luck to everyone waiting to match, and my prayers that you all end up at your first choices.

For a lot of us, next week is that amazingly special week known as "Spring Break". This is what I am looking forward to. Three days of sleeping in, staying up late, and worrying about as little as possible. Because those days are coming to an end.

Always say a prayer

I recently had the opportunity to meet with a Christian doctor. I asked him "how do you keep God first in everything you do? How do you find time to keep your Christianity first, and your work second".

His answer was one of the most simple, yet thought provoking things I've ever heard. I've already started to add this practice to my daily regimen, and it will be simply like breathing to do it in med school. So the pearl of wisdom for those of you out there, like me, struggling with the fear that "Christian doctor" may someday become "doctor that is Christian":

Always say a prayer. What do you do before you see every patient? Every time you go to the bathroom? Every time you sneeze? And extensively before entering an operating room?

You wash your hands. No matter the trauma, no matter what is going on or how quickly you have to see a patient. Whether you scrub or squirt the foam in your hands and rub them together, this act cannot be taken out of your routine to save time. You MUST wash your hands.

And you MUST pray. Every time I wash my hands, I say a prayer. For the patient I'm about to see, for guidance and God's grace to help me make the decisions He wants me to make, for His work to be done through my hands. Even more simply, maybe just that you'll make it through the next hour, the next moment, the next crisis.

What an amazingly simply idea. And what an amazing use for those few precious moments that can't ever be compromised.

So if you ever are sharing a scrub area with me and you notice I'm quiet, realize it's not about you. It's not about me. It's about Him. It's my time with God to be sure I stay grounded and remember the reason I started this journey.

He brought me to it, He'll get me through it. Always wash your hands, and ALWAYS say a prayer.

Scholarships?

Tomorrow morning I will be mailing in the information for a local scholarship program. Money is a good thing. Free money (as opposed to loan money) is a better thing.

I also finished and submitted the annual Tylenol Scholarship App. I have a much more slim chance of that one... since there's only about a million people who apply for it each year (yeah, I could be exaggerating).

In other news, our Lenten series at church has begun... we're talking about 168 - as in, the number of hours we each have in the week. Have you ever REALLY thought about what you do with your 168? Our Sunday school book "Waking The Dead" by Eldridge is following this right now as well - so it's sort of a double whammy for me. I've felt as though I'm going through the motions lately, always looking forward.

It's definitely time to be getting excited about what's coming, but it's also too far away to get in the future and stay out of the day. So I'm finding good in THIS day. In THIS moment. In how I can use THIS time to get me ready for what is to come.

You're gonna miss this...

As we edge closer and closer to spring, it becomes more real each day that everything I know is going to change... moving on is never easy, especially when you've created a life somewhere. After six years here, it's even harder. Every day there have been positives - even the bad days I was never afraid that I made a mistake going to Carey.

I already feel the same way about UMC, but it's going to take a little while to find the comfort level I have here over the past six years. I know the feelings - they were exactly the same my first day at Carey. I know that God is making big changes in my life and He is guiding my path. That will make the transition easier. Still, at the end of each day, I must admit I'm beginning to get a little sad. The friends I've made here will be friends of mine for the rest of my life - there's no doubt. I'll miss them for sure. I'll miss the routine. I'll even miss Carey in general. I've learned so so much while there and become such a stronger Christian. For that I will be eternally grateful.

I know it's early to be getting sentimental... but med school is going to be here before we know it. And just as sentimental as I am about the past, I am faithful and hopeful for the future. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

"You're gonna miss this...
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around..."

Taxes are done!

My taxes are done (and I'm getting a refund... yay!), FAFSA is done, and entrance loan counseling paperwork is complete. I hit/exceeded my deadlines for all those things so I'm good to go for financial aid packages as soon as they start coming out. As of now, UMC is saying mid-May to get the packages out.

I'm sending off my apartment deposit and paperwork this week, so pretty soon I'll have a place to live AND money to go to school!

God is so good!

174 days, 23 hours, 55 minutes and 28 seconds until orientation! Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 1:00:00 PM (Jackson time)

W2s, 1044s, scholarships and more!

It's TAX SEASON... AH! That means W2's, 1044's, and FAFSA - some of everyone's favorite things.

Thursday I got a scholarship offer in the mail from UMC... my first one! There is a chance that more scholarship money will be forthcoming after the FAFSA is processed, but I am beyond blessed with this offer. Just last weekend I was starting to worry about money and how everything would work out, then I got this offer in the mail. God is so good and always hears our prayers. I am so blessed that He chose to answer this one in this fashion. It is not a huge scholarship but anything is a BIG help.. any money that doesn't have to be paid back especially!



In other news, orientation will begin on August 4th at 1:00 P.M. Some days it feels like it's still so far away - other days it seems too soon. I'm ready to get started but nervous to be leaving everything I know behind - I'm sure that many people are having the same reaction. Overall, though, I'm incredibly excited - and so very blessed. The Lord ALWAYS knows what we need!

I've also started getting serious about working out. Running is my new passion. I think the endurance and stamina will serve me well in med school - as will the stress outlet.

Until next time, keep pushing for your dreams!