"When was the last time a stranger took off her clothes in front of you, pointed to a purple splotch on her back, and asked,"what the hell is this?"

"Question- when was the last time a complete stranger took off her clothes in front of you, pointed to a big purple splotch on her back, and asked,"what the hell is this thing?" If you're a normal person,the answer is hopefully never. If you're a doctor the answer is probably about five minutes ago." - Meredith Grey

So I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. In fact, I haven't even fallen out of the state. It's just been busy enough, and boring enough, that I've found myself with little to document. However, assuming the role of a true historian, I must break the silence and catch up - primarily with this week's events.

Thanksgiving at home was wonderful, I really enjoyed the family time and catching up with M and S. I miss her a lot some days... okay, most days. Having a sister, whether by blood or heart, is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

As far as school goes, it's basically one and the same. I'm entering a period of extreme "M2-itis" (extreme loathing of the classroom, studying, and the fourletterword coupled with intense procrastination, lack of motivation, and lots of dreaming about being on wards). Thankfully, it's almost Christmas break - which means a few extra days away, and one more test block down. Leaving us with only three to go before M3. :D

In other school related news, I'm pretty sure M and I got THE best preceptor on the planet. We've had a good time with her both times we've met, felt very at ease and stress-less over the situation, and are learning bits and pieces to incorporate into our own clinical practices. With that said, yesterday I did my first completely solo H&P (emphasis on the "H") - as in, grabbed the chart and walked in the patient's room on my own. Dr. M had previously informed the patient I was coming, but there's a first time for everything right? I'd done history-taking before, but announcing my own arrival was a new step... and it still amazes me what the White Coat does. The experience went well (except for the fact that I've yet to actually write up the final) and I'm looking forward to next week :)

Last night I went to my first Christian concert - Chris Tomlin and Louis Giglio. It was fabulous. Definitely helped me stay in the Christmas spirit with the reason for the season.

Tomorrow's going to be pretty crazy - Mississippi Children's Museum is opening, and I (and several PIG members/officers) am slotted to help with some of Batson's activities there. Should be a fun day. Tomorrow night is the Claus Ball, if I've got one iota of energy left. And then it's almost time to do it all again.

Lord, hold me... and help me cherish these (stressful) days before Christmas in the midst of the craziness.

"....To stop thinking like a doctor, and remember what it means to think like a human being."

"They say that practice makes perfect. Theory is– the more you think like a doctor, the more you become like one, the better you get at remaining neutral, clinical, cut, suture, close - the harder it becomes to turn it off. To stop thinking like a doctor, and remember what it means to think like a human being."

It's been a lovely two weeks. Renaissance was AMAZING. I don't know why I waited so long to play that game - I'll definitely be doing some Christmas shopping there. That was Tuesday... after that I guess I went to school for a couple days, it's been a very "non school" type of couple weeks. I needed the break, but I suppose it's time to get back on the horse. I didn't realize how much break I'd need after the test block - the M3's warned, but since I didn't spend 20 hr days studying the week of tests I honestly figured I'd be alright. Guess the exhaustion kicks in no matter what.

This week has been very sluggish. Today we did ENT exams on each other, that was kinda fun. My partner played "kid" since I was the only self-proclaimed pediatrician to be in the room. She whined, moaned , and pulled her ears away from me. Fun times in M2 land. We also had our second PIG meeting today - I think it went great!

Also, M and I have secured a preceptor for ICM, even though the ICM people haven't told us a thing about when this is all going down - which is funny, seeing how it's supposed to happen in less than two weeks. As is med school - we never REALLY know what's going on.

Studying still hasn't come back full force.. but it will tomorrow. I've got a long weekend due to a lucky break on the path/ICM schedules, and I plan on catching up and getting ahead (if possible). Monday I'm playing in the NICU. Can. Not. Wait. It's been a long nine weeks not in there. We have one mandatory at two oclock, but I'll be in baby land until then :). Easely Amused after - where I'm painting "Starry, Starry Night" . I'm sure it'll be WAY better than VanGogh. Hahahaha.

doctorspeak

Sometime in the last two months, something changed. Not only are we beginning to think like doctors, we're also beginning to talk like doctors - and not in the awkward "using big words because we just learned them" way of last year. Nope. Instead, doctorspeak has become almost as comfortable, if not more so, than the common English that I've been speaking for 25 years. For example:
CC: 25yo WF presents for occasional "heart racing".
HPI: Sxs appear seasonally, with peaks in September and December/January
Physical: Normal findings... (lots and lots of three letter abbreviations)
Dx: Football FEVER!!!!!!!

Why yes, my friends, it is officially football season! As if this week needed help getting any more fun and less school productive? :)

Other things that happened this week outside the realm of study central:
-First PIG meeting on Thursday. I think it went pretty well :), and i've tweaked the sticky parts so that next month's is even smoother
-Easely Amused Thursday night was AMAZINGLY fun. Our painting "Sweet Georgia Brown" looked pretty tough, and I have no artistic ability.. so I was a little bit nervous about that. But it was super fun, turned out really well, and is definitely an experience I'll repeat.
-Mommy's birthday yesterday... we had a good time hanging out/catching up. Family is something that too often gets neglected during this process (especially last year) and I'm grateful that I've found a better balance so far this year.

Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL long weekend!

"The key to surviving ... is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed..

"The key to surviving ... is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed.. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial."

Pretty good quote for the week. It seems as though life in general has been a big basket of denial for me lately. Denial that second year is in full swing, denial that the weeks are starting to fly by, denying the inevitables that are coming both in the next month and in the next 9 months. But sometimes, you just can't deny any longer.

In a moment of weakness Wednesday night, I purchased nine months of access to USMLERx, my first question bank for the *gulp* fourletterword. School buys the great bank (WORLD) for us, and we can start it whenever, but i've heard such good things about it that I want to save it for closer to actual test time. The fourletterword is also spoken continuously at school. The M3's came to give us advice, Doctors In Training came to sell their products... and it's just week two. Which leaves me wondering just exactly how psycho our "super gunner class" will be come spring semester. I can't deny (although I'd like to) that there's a bit of fear associated with the fourletterword, but it's going to be just fine. I'm going to pace myself and learn the material as I can this year, study FA along with my review books for class tests, do question blocks that match the material we're learning in class, and try my best to keep God first and NOT freak myself out. Because like my sister told me Wednesday night, He already knows exactly what I need and exactly what I'm going to make. There's a peace in that. It's still a big fourletterword in my life, and will be a major player in the next nine months. But I've got some amazing friends to keep me grounds, and M walking the coals alongside me.

Had a great lunch with a NICU friend today. Nice to be able to gush about the babies and be not only loved in spite of it or for it, but to be completely and utterly understood. YAY NICU team. I hope she's my nurse someday :)

The first PIG meeting is next week, and I'm pretty excited. I'm hoping we have a good turnout - but we always do :). There are some exciting things in the works for the club this year... so all the future pediatricians, please come out and hear what we've got up our sleeves!

I'm beyond grateful for a weekend. I'm at the tired enough to be almost sick point, and hoping some extra rest takes care of that. It's going to be a busy week. I think I've got something going on Wednesday night that I can't remember right now... Thurs is Pig and Thurs night the Three Muskateers are going to a painting class (stay tuned for info on how the non-creative babydoc did during said experience).

In wrap up, the class week was fairly boring. I'm still going to class, along with 20-30 other people. It's not that I get more out of being there, it's just I'm afraid i'd sleep too late if I stayed home and therefore wouldn't be as productive. We'll see how long this lasts... I'm giving it my best shot. Oh, and immunology needs to die. It sucks. It's boring, and there's just nothing anybody can do to change that.... except perhaps Clinical Immunology Made Rediculously Simple, which is sitting out on the porch in its box from UPS. That's how excited I've been about studying tonight. I think I'll just let it stay there a while.

Back to the Saints game and overall veg-out-til-I-feel-better.

When everyone said it couldn't be done... ducks fly together!

Well it's been quite a week since the last update. The beginning of the week was lots of neuro class and lab filled with overall freak-out/gunner mode to try to get a grasp on some of the material... still not sure how that worked out, but I've definitely decided I don't study well on my own.

Let's see, the PIG roast was Thursday night and went very well. Our turnout was double last year. I think we hit the nail on the head with Sal & Mookie's. The officers from this year and next year worked together pretty well (I think) and I am looking forward to a great year in PIG with my team!!

Friday was an interesting/stressful day. Friday morning we had our first patient "history/interview taking". And yes, it was a psych patient. An inpatient from the psych unit. Made for a.. difficult history taking to learn on. One would think that we could our first history on a mock patient, each other, or a regular internal medicine patient. Instead, we sifted through both history taking and psychiatrics at once. Thankfully, the six years of psych undergrad/grad school helped me be more comfortable around the population, but it was still quite a shocker introduction to "clinical medicine".

After the psychiatric interviews, M & I went to the nursing home to see "our patient" who was in somewhat depressive/psychiatric crisis of her own. It was heartbreaking to see her hurting. Definitely a tough day on the "clinical" side of M1. And I say "clinical" with a grain of salt, because we really don't get any clinical experience of note this year.

Friday night was study and relax time and the rest of the weekend was hard core preparation for the hell that was today: In essence, five tests in one. Psychiatry, Histology (Written & Practical), and Neuro (Written & Practical). It was our first tests in psych and neuro so of course those were stressful. And neuro wasn't a piece of cake. However, like all bad (or good, I suppose) test days, things turned around quickly with the right food, right movies (Mighty Ducks & D2), and best friends a girl could ask for.

Thanks God, for making this Easter one to remember. Amidst my complaining, whining, and utter confusion, you managed to show grace beyond measure, as always. Thank you for reminding me of the best gift of all - your Son. Thank you for giving me the call to do Your work in this world, keep me under Your wings, and be with us as we finish the last 5 weeks and 4 days of M1 year!!

Goodbye, spring break... Hello, neuro..

Today is the final day of a week of bliss and sleep. No, seriously, I stayed in bed until lunch just because I knew that things would be very different this time tomorrow. So let's take the week day by day:

Friday: finished up the board, relished in the fact that phys was (almost) over, spent the afternoon eating leftovers and watching Nanny McPhee with two of my favorite girls, said our goodbyes (a week feels like eternity when you basically spend ALL of your time with the same people), and packed a bit.

Saturday: Headed South. Got home, saw my parents, went to visit my friend A - we went shopping, eating, catching up. Found some peanut butter fudge with my name on it at a local gift shop... drool. I've never had it before, but I'll definitely have it again.

Sunday: Lazy day at home. Didn't do much of anything. Made plans for Monday, slept a lot, watched some tv.

Monday: Started off the day at good ole WCU. So much fun to see my old coworkers, catch up with everyone. It's funny how while some things change, others seem to stand still during the test of time. I'm grateful that some of my best friendships fit into that category. Had lunch with L, then went to visit K & B in Financial Aid and see if they had any more information on ObamaLoans than I did... yeah, not so much. But I got lots of gossip and caught up on everyone's lives, and that was fun. Then I waited impatiently for my sister to get off work and headed to her house as soon as I could. I miss her & M so much. We had a great dinner that M cooked for us - bacon-wrapped cheese & jalepeno stuffed grilled chicken. It was heaven. He is an amazing husband (and a pretty darn good brother in law). B came over to eat with us, and once again, catching up was great... more of those "friendships withstanding the test of time".

Tuesday: Headed South (yes, further south). Tax day. ALWAYS fun. Wasn't too bad actually, and I'm getting a nice refund. Got to see my puppies for the first time in a very long time, they were sooo excited. I was too :). Went to see my cousin on hospice, then went to dinner with the grandparents. OS is known as the town in MS with the most restaurants per-area. 106 to be exact. People in my hometown know how to eat. Starting with my grandparents, who might as well be food critics. I said seafood (I mean, who can go to the coast and NOT have seafood?) and they found the perfect place. I ended up with Creole Mahi Mahi.. drooool...

Wednesday: Went to visit my great grandmother at the assisted living home for a few hours. We had a really nice visit, it was great to catch up. Then I went to get my hair cut. I've been thinking/talking about doing Locks for Love for a really long time, but I figured it would be next year before my hair was ready. Recently, I realized it'd been getting really long really quick, so I had been thinking more seriously about it. Turns out, there's a local lady in our hometown who takes donations and makes wigs specifically for Mississippi kids. I told S to chop off that ponytail :) Not only is my cut a great change, and I really like it, but it was so rewarding doing something for the kids.

Thursday: Down day. Basically a repeat of Sunday.

Friday: Back to H'burg, Dad got new tires put on the car and I went to see Bounty Hunter with M & S. It was sooo funny (and you can never have too much sister bonding time). I finally did FAFSA and the rest of the financial aid stuff that's already "late", but M1 year kind of took precedence.

Saturday: Back to Jxn :(, cleaned house, groceries...

Sunday: Here we are. The end of a fairly unproductive, almost study-free week. Tonight we're going to get the girls together and give a last hoorah to Spring Break before neuro starts tomorrow. I can't help but be a little nervous about that... it's a lot of material, and only 8 weeks. However, God's always right there, and so are my girls! We're going to kick neuro butt. We also start psych... and being only a few classes short of a master's, that one doesn't bother me a bit ;)

Tomorrow we're having our PIG officer's meeting for next year, and PIG's bake sale/PIG roast events are kicked off in full force. I've got lots of baking to do this week. It's gonna be a busy one, but I'm ready.

M1 year - last round. Me vs. neuro/psych. I'm going to win. Just sayin.

Another week has gone by.. Welcome to Lent

So, another (fairly boring) week in the life of M1s. We've had a couple of study nights, mainly trying to just stay on top of the material so that this weekend isn't as miserable as it could be. I elected to skip classes on Monday and Tuesday and just go to Histo lab... was a good choice. May not have been as productive as I should've been, but I was more productive than I would've been in class.

Wednesday was Ash Wednesday... the beginning of the Lenten season. This year, I've decided to give up the "snooze" button on the alarm clock, and spend that thirty minutes every morning in dedicated bible study. I've done this Lenten vow before and it's always very refreshing... time for serious spiritual growth. Sometimes, whether we want to or not, we get caught up in the world and forget the real reason behind things. Every year with Lent, I renew my vows to God to do His will, listen to His voice, and be the best I can be for the purposes He's put before me, even if I don't know them yet. This year is no different - and I've grown more in the first three days than I ever thought possible.

I also chose to fast on Wednesday, another new experience - and exciting one - for me. Relying on His guidance, His strength, and His endurance was all-powerful. I did my fast in honor of Baby Kate, who received her stem cell transplant on Wednesday and spent most of the day in prayer for her. Please join me in lifting her up for God's ultimate healing (www.prayforkate.com).

Thursday and today have been good days overall. We've been discussing fetal and neonatal physiology, and I'm in love. Finally something that I'm interested in. Yesterday's PIG meeting was neonatal medicine too - Dr. K gave a great speech.

M and I went to see our new patient at the nursing home today and it was tons of fun. I'm really excited about getting to know her better and she can't wait for us to come back! On the way home, we discussed the "power of the white coat" and how much it truly means to have complete strangers open up to you simply due to its presence. It's slightly overwhelming, until I remember that He's the one with the real power and I'm just His instrument.

Even though we've got lots of tests this week, I'm taking some "me" time on Tuesday morning and going to the NICU to round with Dr. K and the residents. Sometimes remembering why you're doing this helps keep things in perspective.

This weekend will be filled with lots and lots of studying, endocrine and reproductive phys test on Monday. But that's okay. I have some of the world's best friends and study partners who make my world just a little bit brighter every day :)

Prayer Requests:
Baby Kate
CB Kiddos
NICU babies
My spiritual journey during Lenten season
**Unspokens**

another week of no complaints...

When we started this journey back in early August, I had no idea the magnitude of the statement "make it til Christmas, then you'll be fine". I heard it echoed over and over - by M2's, M3s, M4s, residents, attendings, physicians at home.. "just make it to Christmas".

Here we are a few weeks into January and I finally am beginning to understand. Life is GREAT these days. Cardiac physiology is so interesting, makes sense, and we have time to study and learn for the sake of learning. There's also time for super fun things (like making cookies with pig faces for PIG meetings, slumber parties, etc).

PIG met on Wednesday and went over summer research opportunities. I'd already talked to a few people in the pediatrics department about this and was very encouraged by their advice, so I filled out the application asap on Wednesday and returned it Thursday. Crossing fingers and praying I get the assignment I want (which obviously is neonatal/NICU) and that M gets in with her first choice too (pretty sure she's gonna be our class HemOncDoc -and on that note, the M3 HemOncDoc needs to meet my HemOncDoc :) - sorry we didn't get to chat on wed, A. You looked slightly busy post-meeting) . I'm very excited about the possibilities - praying that God's will is done and this would be used as a career-furthering experience as well as a great ministry opportunity.

Other random thoughts:

Med school nerd movie of the year "Extraordinary Measures" comes out on Friday. I am SO pumped about this.

Who Dat? :)

Slumber party tonight/dessert party @ study group tomorrow. Studying is much much more fun when it involves silly girls and yummy food!

Specific prayer requests:
The Haiti people
The NICU babies
Baby Kate McRae (www.prayforkate.com)
My CaringBridge kiddos/Batson Cancer Kids
Family, friends, and classmates.

Romans 12:12 - Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Plugging along...

Things are status quo here in M1 year. We've entered the "point of no return", the October slump. We've got test behind test, two and three a week, for the next thirty days. Lord, pull me through. Help me lean on you!

PIG today - I made cupcakes with Winnie the Pooh (and PIGlet too) cupcake holders. I love PIG.
Bible study is still amazing. Dr. H is wonderful.

Besides that, I guess life as an M1 is pretty boring to the general public, but I'll keep y'all posted :)

Happy Birthday to Me!

So, nothing says you're an M1 like spending your birthday in the gross anatomy lab...

PIG was so much fun yesterday. Dr. C. is awesome. K and I are both gonna be M1 reps for this year and I'm excited about that. Sounds like a lot of baking and playing with kids - both of which I love :)

Genetics is a treat in and of itself. These powerpoints are insanely long, and its so depressing/non-motivating that the class counts like 1.4% of our final grade.

My family is coming into town tonight! So excited!

Hope everyone has a great weekend...

Yay for a new week!

I'm feeling much better about last week's material and excited to start anew for several reasons:

CMDA on Tuesday at lunch, be there....
PIG on Thursday at lunch - come nominate yours truly and K for M1 reps! BabyDocs FTW! I'm so pumped....
There's that birthday thing on Friday :) ...


Gross Anatomy starts this week. That's a combination excitement/dread.

Then there's that test thing on Wed that I'm not quite so excited about. But it'll be over soon.

Yeah, it's gonna be a great week.