"The future is never the way we imagined it"

After a weekend crammed full of love, family, and melting memories into something new and beautiful, I figured I should share.

Friday I got to thinking about old memories and the good times we "used to have" as a college group. While rocking my beautiful nephew to sleep, I decided that those memories are nothing compared to the ones we're making now. To have these people in my life - to have literally grown up with them... I'm amazed to see how much we're all the same and how much we've changed over the past eight years (wow... that's a long time). To see that little boy smile makes every sad moment melt away. To know how much he's changed my life and to stand in awe of how much he's changed his mommy and daddy. We're all very blessed. It is so comfortable coming home to my "new normal".

Saturday we made family rounds - which was an interesting experience. For the first time in my medical "career", EVERY person I met had to tell me about their problems. I literally worked harder at the "you should see your doctor" and "I'm not sure, I'll have to look that up" than I actually work any day on the wards. I realized that this is what my life will become... our family used to have nice, normal people conversations.... now it's all "bombard the future doctor". Surely that will improve with time (one can hope).
If not, it's wonderful to know that my non-med school friends still see me as a little crazy and more friend/less doctor.

After all, I'd much rather discuss 4 month old coos, horror movies, good ice cream, bad dates, sleepovers and new tv series than medicine 24/7/365.

Speaking of new tv series... Once Upon a Time in 40 minutes. Yay!

"There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice.."

The key to being successful is what we give up: sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment, that moment when you can legally call yourself a doctor. There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are the sacrifices that you can’t even figure out why you're making. - Meredith

Test block two is complete. On average, this one was a little more stressful than the last. I'm not sure if that's because of the way the material was arranged (lots of classes didn't overlap very well, so it was literally like studying five weeks of material for five different tests in five days), the way the tests were arranged (with the big ones spaced out MWF), or that I just didn't pace myself quite as well during the block - but as usual, M and I made it through together, and I'm fairly happy with the results.

Things I learned this week: 1) Getting news of any great magnitude - be it good or bad - is not conducive to productive studying. 2) I can't cram for anything except Micro... but I'm an awesome Micro crammer. 3) My best friend and M2 "other half of my brain" is pretty much amazing - and I'm beyond glad that God put us in each other's lives at just the right moment... definitely couldn't make it without her.

The weekend was lovely. Friday night, I went to Mistletoe Marketplace for the first time... so much fun. I see a new annual tradition headed my way! Saturday, Mommy came up and we went shopping (Mistletoe again... and some other places). Yesterday, just football and lots of relaxation... followed by Girls' Night, the Grey's Anatomy we missed Thursday (stupid test block).

There were grand master plans to go to school today, but those fell through when the bed was just waaaaay too comfy. And after looking at the schedule for tomorrow, I'm calling a repeat. Four day weekends? Anytime. Thanks med school. It's nice of you to "play nice" after last week. :)

De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it? - Meredith

So it's been two weeks already, eh? The title of this post about sums it up. Finally got to a "non-denial" place about this test block, just in time thank goodness. I had too much fun (is that even possible?) being normal and just had no desire to return to the mundane world of M2 year.

Highlights from the last couple of weeks:
NICU day last Monday - lots of cool cases around right now, also super cool to see some of my last on-call deliveries from the summer "all grown up". A few long-term kiddos have even gone home. It was so nice to be back, but one day is just a tease.

Starry Starry Night - very cool. I'm getting the hang of the Easely Amused experience.. and getting addicted.

FAIR!!! It was my first trip to the fair, and it was lots of fun. Ate a huge turkey leg, a funnel cake (complete with strawberries), and rode 'til I almost (literally) threw up. Thanks M for a fun time, and not laughing at me toooo much when we had to stop that one ride...

"Life As We Know It" - Very very cute, very much a chick flick, very much recommended.

Church- as much as possible. Having a home place of worship is great!

There was, of course, lots of studying in between that and this past week and I'm finally beginning to feel caught up. I'm no where near ready and it's going to be an insane 10 days or so before the next block starts. But I'm totally looking forward to week-after again. This M2 thing? It's pretty cool.

"....To stop thinking like a doctor, and remember what it means to think like a human being."

"They say that practice makes perfect. Theory is– the more you think like a doctor, the more you become like one, the better you get at remaining neutral, clinical, cut, suture, close - the harder it becomes to turn it off. To stop thinking like a doctor, and remember what it means to think like a human being."

It's been a lovely two weeks. Renaissance was AMAZING. I don't know why I waited so long to play that game - I'll definitely be doing some Christmas shopping there. That was Tuesday... after that I guess I went to school for a couple days, it's been a very "non school" type of couple weeks. I needed the break, but I suppose it's time to get back on the horse. I didn't realize how much break I'd need after the test block - the M3's warned, but since I didn't spend 20 hr days studying the week of tests I honestly figured I'd be alright. Guess the exhaustion kicks in no matter what.

This week has been very sluggish. Today we did ENT exams on each other, that was kinda fun. My partner played "kid" since I was the only self-proclaimed pediatrician to be in the room. She whined, moaned , and pulled her ears away from me. Fun times in M2 land. We also had our second PIG meeting today - I think it went great!

Also, M and I have secured a preceptor for ICM, even though the ICM people haven't told us a thing about when this is all going down - which is funny, seeing how it's supposed to happen in less than two weeks. As is med school - we never REALLY know what's going on.

Studying still hasn't come back full force.. but it will tomorrow. I've got a long weekend due to a lucky break on the path/ICM schedules, and I plan on catching up and getting ahead (if possible). Monday I'm playing in the NICU. Can. Not. Wait. It's been a long nine weeks not in there. We have one mandatory at two oclock, but I'll be in baby land until then :). Easely Amused after - where I'm painting "Starry, Starry Night" . I'm sure it'll be WAY better than VanGogh. Hahahaha.

"The key to surviving ... is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed..

"The key to surviving ... is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed.. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial."

Pretty good quote for the week. It seems as though life in general has been a big basket of denial for me lately. Denial that second year is in full swing, denial that the weeks are starting to fly by, denying the inevitables that are coming both in the next month and in the next 9 months. But sometimes, you just can't deny any longer.

In a moment of weakness Wednesday night, I purchased nine months of access to USMLERx, my first question bank for the *gulp* fourletterword. School buys the great bank (WORLD) for us, and we can start it whenever, but i've heard such good things about it that I want to save it for closer to actual test time. The fourletterword is also spoken continuously at school. The M3's came to give us advice, Doctors In Training came to sell their products... and it's just week two. Which leaves me wondering just exactly how psycho our "super gunner class" will be come spring semester. I can't deny (although I'd like to) that there's a bit of fear associated with the fourletterword, but it's going to be just fine. I'm going to pace myself and learn the material as I can this year, study FA along with my review books for class tests, do question blocks that match the material we're learning in class, and try my best to keep God first and NOT freak myself out. Because like my sister told me Wednesday night, He already knows exactly what I need and exactly what I'm going to make. There's a peace in that. It's still a big fourletterword in my life, and will be a major player in the next nine months. But I've got some amazing friends to keep me grounds, and M walking the coals alongside me.

Had a great lunch with a NICU friend today. Nice to be able to gush about the babies and be not only loved in spite of it or for it, but to be completely and utterly understood. YAY NICU team. I hope she's my nurse someday :)

The first PIG meeting is next week, and I'm pretty excited. I'm hoping we have a good turnout - but we always do :). There are some exciting things in the works for the club this year... so all the future pediatricians, please come out and hear what we've got up our sleeves!

I'm beyond grateful for a weekend. I'm at the tired enough to be almost sick point, and hoping some extra rest takes care of that. It's going to be a busy week. I think I've got something going on Wednesday night that I can't remember right now... Thurs is Pig and Thurs night the Three Muskateers are going to a painting class (stay tuned for info on how the non-creative babydoc did during said experience).

In wrap up, the class week was fairly boring. I'm still going to class, along with 20-30 other people. It's not that I get more out of being there, it's just I'm afraid i'd sleep too late if I stayed home and therefore wouldn't be as productive. We'll see how long this lasts... I'm giving it my best shot. Oh, and immunology needs to die. It sucks. It's boring, and there's just nothing anybody can do to change that.... except perhaps Clinical Immunology Made Rediculously Simple, which is sitting out on the porch in its box from UPS. That's how excited I've been about studying tonight. I think I'll just let it stay there a while.

Back to the Saints game and overall veg-out-til-I-feel-better.

"We enter the world alone and we leave it alone. And everything that happens in between, we owe it to our self to find a little company" - Meredith

I thought that Grey's quote was appropriate for the last couple of days.... as I've been "reconnecting" with my medical school life (minus the school part).

Yesterday, M and I went shopping and followed it up with a Grey's Anatomy marathon. It's funny to watch what LITERALLY seems like ourselves played out in Meredith & Christina. Gave lots of laughs and lots of girl time - both of which were desperately needed.

Today, I met with my buddies... both my M3 buddy and my M1 buddy. It's kind of weird (and nice!) to be sandwiched in now, but parts of me are thinking "when did I get enough authority to give anybody advice?" Hopefully I'll be able to be half of the M2 buddy that mine has been - I really couldn't have asked for a better mentor along the way. Seemed like everytime I was falling apart, she just happened to be in the right place at the right time. And catching up today, I've realized that we will be lifelong friends.... which leads me to the real reason for this post.

It's hard to believe that it's been a year already... a full year in the bank. I remember meeting C (my M3 buddy) when I was the brand-new M1 and she was an M2... and I remember other older med students giving me advice. My mom mentioned something similar as she's been in the healthcare field for 25+ years . One piece of advice in particular stuck out from everyone... "you'll make friends here that you'll never forget. When you stand over a cadaver for the first time, when you see the inside of a body... when you take care of your first patient, when you LOSE your first patient... people who aren't here can't understand that. The people who ARE here will give you strength."

And boy, is that true! You draw on each other, cry with each other, laugh with each other... and in the end, you grow - as friends, as individuals, and as doctors-in-training. It's a privilege to walk beside these people I humbly am blessed to call my friends here, and cannot wait to call on them as colleagues. As we begin a new year, with new friends and new places to be (and undoubtedly many new challenges), I find myself much less afraid of what it brings - because I know we're all in this together.

So best of luck to the M4's as they finish up ERAS, M3's as they get the hang of rotations, us as we prepare to finish our classroom lives and STEP, and the M1's as they join us on this journey. It's going to be an AMAZING year. I can't wait to get started :)

(By the way, first PIG meeting Sept 2: BE THERE!!!)

An ice cube in each hand...

So it's been another great week or two in the world of relaxation. Still hard to believe that there's no reason to study, and just now beginning to not feel guilty about that. I haven't updated because, well, honestly, I haven't done much of anything. And that has been heaven!

I did spend a little time with the family post-vacation, and spent the past weekend with M and S (ok, S mainly, we made M find things to do so we could have girl time). Best friends are forever... its awesome how so much time can go by and nothing changes between us. We literally talked so much on Saturday that I was hoarse by bedtime. Good times. Growing up isn't all that bad when you have amazing people walking beside you for all the transitions :)

Also in that light, I had the opportunity to spend some amazing time with a special family member over the first week of break. Caught in the battle for his life, he still astonishes me with his perseverance and faith every day. Little story: he started a new chemo drug a couple weeks ago that is well known to cause cold intolerance. Upon leaving the doctor's office, he returned to work and went directly to the kitchen freezer. He grabbed an ice cube in each hand and held on. To some of you, this might seem silly... even crazy. After all, the doctor had just informed him that he may no longer be able to go to the frozen food section in the grocery store. For him, it was just another moment of strength and faith. Knowing that he wouldn't have the same reaction everyone else did. Knowing that every moment is a gift straight from God. In his hope and strength, I find my own. I cherish the days we have together and the lifetime of memories I look to pass on to my children and grandchildren.

Went home for a few days to make the doctor rounds: eyes, teeth, etc. Doctor appts are much more fun these days. I found myself unable to separate from the med school world during the eye doctor visit as I realized what he was doing with every test. Annoying sometimes, but super cool other times. I also managed to upgrade to an ACTUAL smartphone while I was home. After three years, I sent the Treo to the happy hunting ground. I am now the proud owner of a Droid... and what a difference three years of technology makes! This one walks the dog, takes out the trash, and goes to work for me. (Just kidding. I wish!!).

I've got a few more days before I head back to Jackson to begin the best summer job ever. I'm getting very excited. I couldn't have asked for a better mentor or position, and it's absolutely amazing to watch God's blessings come through in my life on a daily basis. He didn't ever say the journey would be easy, but He promised it would be worth it... and it is. Every single day.

Keep enjoying the free time and living life to the fullest, y'all. And get to your nearest theater for SATC2 today!!!!

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250 - Harper's

Well well, this has been quite a week.

Neuro is ... interesting, but tough. There's so much to learn in so little time. And of course we got super spoiled in Jan/Feb with no 8 AM classes, no labs, and free weekends. All of the sudden, all of that's out the window. Basically, it's almost like we've returned to first semester hell - it's just that now it's only one class to really worry about instead of 3/4.

Monday we had our PIG officer meeting for next year... and now that it's official, I can finally share that yours truly is going to be president :) I'm very excited about that responsibility and very much so looking forward to it. In other PIG news, we've been busy baking and selling at the bake sale last week and preparing for the Roast next Thursday from 5:30-8. If you haven't bought a ticket, there's still plenty of time (you can even get one at the door - but if you're sure you're coming, please buy early!). There's gonna be awesome food (all you can eat pizza and ice cream at Sal & Mookie's) and even better door prizes.... and the proceeds go to the kids at Batson, so come on out!

Of course, PIG news has to be the best thing going on in my life right now (and the AMAZING girls that will be working beside me... including my VP, none other than M!!), but there was one more "good" thing this week. Tuesday we started Psych. For the first time since medical school started, we're in a class that I actually have experience in. Lots and lots of experience. I decided after day 1 that I wouldn't be attending any more of those lectures that weren't mandatory, because it's all review (thanks WCU - Graduate Dept of Psych) and I can use the time to study for neuro.

Phys boards came back, best one yet! :)

It's been mainly study-study-study, but M and I did take some time out last night after the Neuro review with Dr. H to have a little fun. Pizza at Mellow Mushroom (they've got a new one - the Hot Potato Pie - and it's droolworthy), followed by "New Moon" and the Sims. Yup, old school fun right there. It was a well needed and well deserved break after a week that felt like it wouldn't end.

I'm still overwhelmed and worried but I know that God's in control and He'll never fail me. I've got the best friends in the world walking this journey beside me... and although they say misery loves company, I must disagree. Because even the stuff that just isn't fun at all isn't miserable when we're together :).

Hang in there, M1's. 7 weeks til summer!!

Goodbye, spring break... Hello, neuro..

Today is the final day of a week of bliss and sleep. No, seriously, I stayed in bed until lunch just because I knew that things would be very different this time tomorrow. So let's take the week day by day:

Friday: finished up the board, relished in the fact that phys was (almost) over, spent the afternoon eating leftovers and watching Nanny McPhee with two of my favorite girls, said our goodbyes (a week feels like eternity when you basically spend ALL of your time with the same people), and packed a bit.

Saturday: Headed South. Got home, saw my parents, went to visit my friend A - we went shopping, eating, catching up. Found some peanut butter fudge with my name on it at a local gift shop... drool. I've never had it before, but I'll definitely have it again.

Sunday: Lazy day at home. Didn't do much of anything. Made plans for Monday, slept a lot, watched some tv.

Monday: Started off the day at good ole WCU. So much fun to see my old coworkers, catch up with everyone. It's funny how while some things change, others seem to stand still during the test of time. I'm grateful that some of my best friendships fit into that category. Had lunch with L, then went to visit K & B in Financial Aid and see if they had any more information on ObamaLoans than I did... yeah, not so much. But I got lots of gossip and caught up on everyone's lives, and that was fun. Then I waited impatiently for my sister to get off work and headed to her house as soon as I could. I miss her & M so much. We had a great dinner that M cooked for us - bacon-wrapped cheese & jalepeno stuffed grilled chicken. It was heaven. He is an amazing husband (and a pretty darn good brother in law). B came over to eat with us, and once again, catching up was great... more of those "friendships withstanding the test of time".

Tuesday: Headed South (yes, further south). Tax day. ALWAYS fun. Wasn't too bad actually, and I'm getting a nice refund. Got to see my puppies for the first time in a very long time, they were sooo excited. I was too :). Went to see my cousin on hospice, then went to dinner with the grandparents. OS is known as the town in MS with the most restaurants per-area. 106 to be exact. People in my hometown know how to eat. Starting with my grandparents, who might as well be food critics. I said seafood (I mean, who can go to the coast and NOT have seafood?) and they found the perfect place. I ended up with Creole Mahi Mahi.. drooool...

Wednesday: Went to visit my great grandmother at the assisted living home for a few hours. We had a really nice visit, it was great to catch up. Then I went to get my hair cut. I've been thinking/talking about doing Locks for Love for a really long time, but I figured it would be next year before my hair was ready. Recently, I realized it'd been getting really long really quick, so I had been thinking more seriously about it. Turns out, there's a local lady in our hometown who takes donations and makes wigs specifically for Mississippi kids. I told S to chop off that ponytail :) Not only is my cut a great change, and I really like it, but it was so rewarding doing something for the kids.

Thursday: Down day. Basically a repeat of Sunday.

Friday: Back to H'burg, Dad got new tires put on the car and I went to see Bounty Hunter with M & S. It was sooo funny (and you can never have too much sister bonding time). I finally did FAFSA and the rest of the financial aid stuff that's already "late", but M1 year kind of took precedence.

Saturday: Back to Jxn :(, cleaned house, groceries...

Sunday: Here we are. The end of a fairly unproductive, almost study-free week. Tonight we're going to get the girls together and give a last hoorah to Spring Break before neuro starts tomorrow. I can't help but be a little nervous about that... it's a lot of material, and only 8 weeks. However, God's always right there, and so are my girls! We're going to kick neuro butt. We also start psych... and being only a few classes short of a master's, that one doesn't bother me a bit ;)

Tomorrow we're having our PIG officer's meeting for next year, and PIG's bake sale/PIG roast events are kicked off in full force. I've got lots of baking to do this week. It's gonna be a busy one, but I'm ready.

M1 year - last round. Me vs. neuro/psych. I'm going to win. Just sayin.

Let it be, Let it be, Let it be..

The title - Just an old song that came to mind earlier today as I was headed home from M's and our epic study extravaganza..

It's been another interesting (or not so) week in the life of a few M1s. We've been knee deep in respiratory physiology and PFT's.. the lady that taught us the PFT stuff was cool for about the first hour, but after 4 add'l mandatory hours, it wasn't so cool anymore. The respiratory test is on Monday, followed by the phys comp on wed and the phys national board on friday. The blessing in all of this is that there's no class this week - so it's just study time in between tests. Which is good, since about 60% of our averages are determined this week.

I found out that I'll be working in Pediatrics this summer doing research and clinical stuff, and I'm very excited about the opportunities this brings, both for this summer itself and for my future career in Peds. I'm not sure exactly which department I'll be in, we'll find out in 6 weeks or so... but I have my top choice for sure... and I'm sure more than one of you could guess it ;)

We had two tests last week, the Histo board on monday which went much better than the histo last practical & written - however, those scores came back friday and, much to my surprise, my average is not totally down the drain. If the board went well I'm looking at a happy grade in there :). Genetics was our other "treat" last week. Although Genetics counts for like 1% of our year average, its still nice to have something else completely done. Another class over. Another step closer to M2. M3. M4. MD.

At this point, we're all getting a little antsy for spring break and what it brings with it. I'm planning a trip home - both to my "northern" home and to the coast, and I hope to spend as much time as possible with friends and family. M's going on a cruise (just SLIGHTLY jealous about that one). N's going to be relaxing about like I am, as is RA. K & B are going skiing. Yup, it's going to be one good week. I've so learned to appreciate my breaks now, something I never did quite as much as I should have. I'm learning to absolutely love vacation more than ever.

May God give us the strength, focus, and encouragement we all need to make it through the next week unscathed. Take my unspoken prayers and do Your will, my Lord.

Another week has gone by.. Welcome to Lent

So, another (fairly boring) week in the life of M1s. We've had a couple of study nights, mainly trying to just stay on top of the material so that this weekend isn't as miserable as it could be. I elected to skip classes on Monday and Tuesday and just go to Histo lab... was a good choice. May not have been as productive as I should've been, but I was more productive than I would've been in class.

Wednesday was Ash Wednesday... the beginning of the Lenten season. This year, I've decided to give up the "snooze" button on the alarm clock, and spend that thirty minutes every morning in dedicated bible study. I've done this Lenten vow before and it's always very refreshing... time for serious spiritual growth. Sometimes, whether we want to or not, we get caught up in the world and forget the real reason behind things. Every year with Lent, I renew my vows to God to do His will, listen to His voice, and be the best I can be for the purposes He's put before me, even if I don't know them yet. This year is no different - and I've grown more in the first three days than I ever thought possible.

I also chose to fast on Wednesday, another new experience - and exciting one - for me. Relying on His guidance, His strength, and His endurance was all-powerful. I did my fast in honor of Baby Kate, who received her stem cell transplant on Wednesday and spent most of the day in prayer for her. Please join me in lifting her up for God's ultimate healing (www.prayforkate.com).

Thursday and today have been good days overall. We've been discussing fetal and neonatal physiology, and I'm in love. Finally something that I'm interested in. Yesterday's PIG meeting was neonatal medicine too - Dr. K gave a great speech.

M and I went to see our new patient at the nursing home today and it was tons of fun. I'm really excited about getting to know her better and she can't wait for us to come back! On the way home, we discussed the "power of the white coat" and how much it truly means to have complete strangers open up to you simply due to its presence. It's slightly overwhelming, until I remember that He's the one with the real power and I'm just His instrument.

Even though we've got lots of tests this week, I'm taking some "me" time on Tuesday morning and going to the NICU to round with Dr. K and the residents. Sometimes remembering why you're doing this helps keep things in perspective.

This weekend will be filled with lots and lots of studying, endocrine and reproductive phys test on Monday. But that's okay. I have some of the world's best friends and study partners who make my world just a little bit brighter every day :)

Prayer Requests:
Baby Kate
CB Kiddos
NICU babies
My spiritual journey during Lenten season
**Unspokens**

Another week in the life of an M1... Pretty routine early in the week. Class, PBLs, CORs, all the usual. I'm really not a fan of nephrology. Had a frustrating start to the renal unit (too many biochem memories), but as usual, M fixed it and helped me pull it all together in the end :)

Thursday was the renal test (which went much much better than expected), followed by Histo lecture (that no one attended - also known as nap time at home to me personally), followed by a trip in the monsoon to our first patient visit. The whole "white coat = dr here to talk to you about life, not medical problems" was slightly confusing to even our very sane patient. This was good, because we were slightly confused too. Anyway, she was really, really sweet - and it was cool to have a little interaction with somebody on the premise of learning.... (whatever they seem to think we're learning). Sadly for us, our wonderful little patient may be leaving the home soon as her rehab is going well and her family's ready for her to come home. Great for her, sad for us. Means we'll have to get another one... But M and I can handle it. We always do. :)

Yesterday... Histo lab (joy, my favorite part of life */endsarcasm), followed by two hours of phys lecture (with Dr. L - hormones, this is gonna be a treat), then home to get ready for Dear John girls' night out! We did dinner at O'Charley's, then went to see the movie... Without giving away any details since most of the world hasn't seen it yet, I'd say 6 stars for eye candy but straying from the book - that always irritates me. Bop's afterwards. I love these girls. Med school = so much better now that we've got a core group, and lots of friends outside that group as well. I remember HemOncDoc telling me a long time ago as I prepared to start med school that it wouldn't be long and these people would be my best friends. It's happening, and it's lovely.

Slept in this morning (always great), now it's time to study for histology since we have a test on Monday and I've got fun plans for the rest of the weekend. Slumber party tonight (oh yes, complete middle school style with 4 giggling girls, Rock Band, and endless hours of girl talk), followed by church, group studying, and SUPER BOWL tomorrow. And somebody in the histo dept had the nerve to tell us not to party too hard. HA. My Saints are in the Super Bowl. It's on. Histo - I'd like to beat you up, but if it's a punt and my Saints win, it's still worth it.

I've put off studying long enough. Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Prayer Requests:
Baby Kate - beginning her BMT workup (prayforkate.com)
NICU babies
CB kiddos
**Unspokens**

Semester 2, Test 1.

Last week was a good one, but busy. We had our physiology pig lab. I enjoyed it a lot.. putting in lines comes fairly natural for me, and I don't freak out over blood spills. We hit a bleeder or two in the pig, and besides wanting suction so I could see what was going on, I was calm, cool, and collected. I still say I'm not feeling surgery in my future, but it's nice to know I can do it when I have to. It's amazing how different it is working on a living, breathing animal instead of a cadaver. Skin and connective tissue is much tougher in real life.

Yesterday was our first test of the semester. Cardiac physiology. I really liked learning this last unit. Everything we're doing these days is actually applicable to practice, and that's a nice change. I've been taking it easy and having a lot more fun than I was able to last semester. We've had some girls' nights, slumber parties, and movie nights. Yesterday a bunch of us did dinner and a movie (Extraordinary Measures with Harrison Ford and Brenden Fraser - it's a "med school nerd movie" about Pompe Disease). The movie was on the upper side of average (and towards the "good" end for my medical school friends) , but the company and socializing time was wonderful. For the first time in a long time, I managed to fall behind on my reading last night. It was totally worth it. :)

In the not-med-school related (but sort of) arena, I'm training for "Rush to Brush" on February 13th for Batson's dental clinics. I've run a lot at different times in the past, but allowed myself to get completely out of shape first semester. It's been a struggle to get back in the swing of things. But I'm very very excited about my first race. As an asthmatic, 5k is the equivalent of a marathon some days :) In OB/GYN interest group today they mentioned another 5k coming up for Women's Health later in the semester - I have a feeling that race 1 will get me addicted enough that i'll look forward to race 2.

On that note, I'm off to put a few miles on those running shoes... ;)

Real snowflakes...

Just in case anyone's missed this, Canada weather has settled into Mississippi for the week and weekend. It's absolutely frigid out there. For prosperity's sake for years from now - this is the coldest weather in Mississippi in over a decade. Yesterday we were expecting a bit of a slushy-ice storm mess, so I took the opportunity to stay home in my PJ's and learn EKG's here rather than trekking over to school, finding a parking spot, walking in said rain/ice, and getting sick again (since I'm just recovering from a cold). It was a pretty fun and useless day.

Unfortunately, I couldn't have a repeat performance today because I had QCP lab this afternoon. All worked out well though. Our new phys teacher has apparently also been sick, so we only had one hour of lecture instead of two. With the extra hour that suddenly popped up we went to Keifer's for my first experience with Greek food! Thanks M, RA, and N for that - random lunch trips are the best! The QCP "lab" at 1 was really laid back and I was home before 2, with packages on the door. Online post-Christmas shopping orders and my Christmas present from L & C! LOVE it.

Now we find ourselves at a weekend... a weekend where the temps won't get above freezing, but it doesn't matter. I've got nothing i HAVE to do, a Kindle full of books, and a list of movies I've been wanting to watch. Second semester is heavenly!!!

By the grace of God, we've made it..

Biochem is OVER!! The board was basically insane, I expected no less. But I'm pretty sure that filling my name in on the answer sheet was enough for the grade I need to pull off a passing first semester, and for that I am grateful to God.

It's been an amazing journey so far. I've learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. I've laughed and cried - at the same time, and for two completely different reasons. I've come to realize exactly how little I know - and how much I've learned - in a few short months. And I've also acknowledged how quickly time is flying (Seven more semesters to MD? Wow).

In the midst of the first semester storm, I've made some absolutely AMAZING friends. I don't know what I'd do without y'all! Everyone promised me that it would happen, and it did, right when I needed it the most. We can lean on each other for support, lift each other up in times of need, and laugh all night until our stomachs hurt. Thanks M, N, RA, K, D, J, & P (and anyone I forgot!!) for the kind thoughts, smiles, and "you can do it"s just when I thought I couldn't any more. It will be my honor to refer patients to each and every one of you in the future.

And on that note, it's time to pack and start celebrating! It's going to be the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny f'in Kay! :) I'm coming home, S, A, L(2) mom & dad!!!!

I'm coming home.. to the place where I belong...

It's the night before the final "regular" biochem test, and instead of studying, I find myself completely distracted. Tomorrow marks the first time I've gone home since the semester started... And it's a funny feeling. I'm incredibly excited to see family and friends that I haven't seen in WAY too long, and to celebrate Thanksgiving... but then again, school is looming. Comprehensive finals and boards are right around the corner. There's not enough time to do it all, and what am I doing? That's right. I'm taking a few days off.

I'll probably regret it later, but I'll regret it sooner if I lose my sanity before the final stretch even begins. At some point over the weekend, I'll resume studying. I'll wait as long as possible. I'll probably almost lose my mind next week. But some things just can't be replaced. The joy of the holiday season with family, after being away for so long thus far and going through so much, is one of those things. I don't think anyone can truly understand unless you've been here. And this isn't a "down on med school" post. More just "I'm tired. I'm really tired." I'm ready for a REAL break. Not this time when you're supposed to be enjoying life and professors are screaming out the back door "don't forget to pack the skull!" - Ok, maybe they didn't exactly say that... but that's the point.

And my point? I really don't think I had one tonight. Just was looking for something else to do besides study. Anything else. Because I just don't know how much more I can take. Lord, bring lunchtime tomorrow quickly!!!

The continuation of a summer of nothing...

This week, I got back to town and then went to M & S's (brother-in-law and sister) for a few days. S and I had a wonderful time - M is out of town with the youth on a Fuge trip, so we got to spend three days living like we were in college again. I miss them already and haven't even moved yet.. right now, I'm only about 20 minutes from her at any given time..

I'm sad that I keep missing pre-orientation fun (Free Clinic orientation, Habitat stuff, etc)... different members of the class are really starting to bond and it sucks that I'm not able to be there much yet. Oh well, I suppose there'll be plenty of time for bonding come August 4th as we spend the next 4+ years together.

Hopefully I'll have time the second half of July to squeeze in a little mentoring time with my buddy and get together with K... and maybe J + D as well. Then it'll be off to the races.

Tomorrow I'm going to eat with my friend A and we may do some shopping/looking. After I sleep in of course - my sister is a notorious early riser, which means I've kept her up late and she's gotten me up early since Wednesday!

Prayer requests: As usual, all the babies fighting for life in the NICU at FGH (that unit has such a special place in my heart); my brother in law and the youth at Fuge, continued help with goodbyes and anxieties about relocating, and a few unspokens. Thanks guys! :)

Family

I have the most amazing, quirky, crazy, supportive, and loving family support network ever. The party was fun and it was wonderful to see everyone.

Dr. F came and brought me his personal copy of "On Doctoring" from his white coat ceremony. That was so neat to me - he wrote a note in it and made sure to give me some extra heartfelt advice even in the midst of the party. There have been several doctors I've shadowed that really helped me along, but he's probably the one that meant the most - that I was the closest to. Even though I'm not necessarily planning on staying in his specialty, I learned oh so much from him. And age wise, he's the youngest I shadowed so it was easier to relate to him...

Several heartfelt cards, and a book that I intend to read every word of. I can't wait to be that mentor for another young medical student, when I pass on my copy of "On Doctoring" to a new generation.