I'm coming home.. to the place where I belong...

It's the night before the final "regular" biochem test, and instead of studying, I find myself completely distracted. Tomorrow marks the first time I've gone home since the semester started... And it's a funny feeling. I'm incredibly excited to see family and friends that I haven't seen in WAY too long, and to celebrate Thanksgiving... but then again, school is looming. Comprehensive finals and boards are right around the corner. There's not enough time to do it all, and what am I doing? That's right. I'm taking a few days off.

I'll probably regret it later, but I'll regret it sooner if I lose my sanity before the final stretch even begins. At some point over the weekend, I'll resume studying. I'll wait as long as possible. I'll probably almost lose my mind next week. But some things just can't be replaced. The joy of the holiday season with family, after being away for so long thus far and going through so much, is one of those things. I don't think anyone can truly understand unless you've been here. And this isn't a "down on med school" post. More just "I'm tired. I'm really tired." I'm ready for a REAL break. Not this time when you're supposed to be enjoying life and professors are screaming out the back door "don't forget to pack the skull!" - Ok, maybe they didn't exactly say that... but that's the point.

And my point? I really don't think I had one tonight. Just was looking for something else to do besides study. Anything else. Because I just don't know how much more I can take. Lord, bring lunchtime tomorrow quickly!!!

Welcome to the world of debt...

My financial aid package arrived on Wednesday. It actually is quite promising. My loans are all Federal, so the interest rates are good - I won't need any alternative loans or PLUS loans. Plus there's some scholarship money in there which helps a lot.

It's a solid investment, but debt scares the heck out of me. I know I've been blessed to keep out of it this long. Here goes a new horizon - as I sign my life away :)

In other news, today is the last Preview Day I'll be a part of at WCU. I'm actually in the office instead of in the middle of it, which is probably a good thing. I get sort of sentimental over these things. Today marks my 8th one, and it's really odd knowing I won't be here in July for the next one.

God's walking beside me and leading the way. I know I'm doing the right thing. I just wish leaving didn't have to hurt so bad.

Six months ago...

Six months ago, I was accepted to medical school. What a blessed, happy, exhilarating (yet sleepless) day that was.

Less than four months from now, classes will begin. Sometimes it feels like it's been forever, sometimes I wonder where the time went. Everyday seems to rush by a little faster.

Parts of me are beyond ready (110 days!), and parts of me, I worry, never will be. I'm just grateful that God and I are in this together - and He will carry me through the anxiety.

I'm really excited about catching up with some people at the luncheon. Everyone better be there!

Spring Break has come to an abrupt end...

Spring Break is over, way too quickly. I feel like the whole thing was a blur.

In one aspect, I'm looking forward to a busy and routine week. Maybe it'll help settle my feelings. Church this morning did a good job of starting. Eddie's sermon was on worry & anxiety. We're currently studying the Sermon on the Mount, and part of this morning's passage was as follows:

"Your heavenly Father already knows all of your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
-Matthew 6:33-34

It's a passage I've always found great comfort in, and once again this morning, His love surrounded me in these words and in the congregation.

My Sunday school class has become a source of great blessing in the past month as well. Something that started so simple (as a Lenten vow) has become a great comfort and fellowship for me. I guess it's true that God truly knows our needs before we do.

What a wild ride this spring break has been... the ups and downs of the past few weeks in general can hardly be measured. I take comfort in the One who stands beside me, walks in front of me to show the way, and follows behind so that I don't get left.

135 days til orientation. I can only gaze in awe at what amazing things the Lord has in store between now and then.