Goodbye, Sophia...

I thought about saving this post for tomorrow night, post-memorial, but decided to share the feelings I have currently before they're forgotten. In med school, feelings, emotions, and thoughts are often fleeting.... so I'd like to take a moment to reflect on exactly what tomorrow means for me in particular, in a letter to Sophia.

Dear Sophia,
What a blessing it is to finally have an opportunity to tell your family how very much you meant to me. You see, it was you who made med school real in mid-August, as P and I stood together, took a deep breath, and met you for the first time. We named you then. In three months, I discovered more about you than most people ever knew. There were surprises everywhere, God's footprints. Although the class was sometimes a struggle, and lab time seemed a "waste of time" when there was none to be wasted, it was you who ultimately pulled things together for me. Every patient I see, every life I touch, will be because you first allowed me to touch yours. When I didn't know the difference between a #21 blade and a #22 blade, you'd already decided that it didn't matter, and you'd allow me - and my classmates - to learn how to be doctors, on you. I will always be more grateful than I could express. I simply hope that tomorrow, with your family among us, that they'll catch my eye and realize that gratitude.

You understand, Sophia, that you'll never leave me? Some things just change a person forever, and you did that for me. You were the beginning of medical school, the defining moment. And tomorrow, we'll ultimately close chapter one, save for a couple of weeks. For me, it's already over. The memorial service comes at a perfect time. It's fitting to tell you goodbye now, after a long year together. Thank you for a gift greater than any I could have ever dreamed of. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Love,
A Very Grateful M1

Two tests to go til M1.5!

Two tests til Christmas break!!! I just can't wait to go home and see my friends and family... it's going to be heavenly.

Wednesday night post-gross board "Coat Burning" was WONDERFUL! We had SO much fun. Too much fun to mention, perhaps, but coats were burned and books were burned (shame, I know) and scrubs were burned... and we've joined the ranks of all M.D.'s who made it through Gross Anatomy. Board scores should be back soon... looking forward/not looking forward to that.

Now, just some Biochem stands in the way of me and break. M has been WONDERFUL in teaching me biochem the 2nd half of this semester, couldn't have done it without her. Thank God for great friends, especially those who were biochem majors. I still love Handel and Rutter, but they haven't helped me much in biochem.... :)

Come on, Friday. Time to go home and spend some quality time with S. I hope everyone is having a great "finals" week, and I'm praying for ALLL the M1-M4's who have tests between now and then!

Gross is OVER!!!

Gross Anatomy is OVERRRRR! And barring some absolute disaster, I passed :) The NBME shelf went waaaay better than our typical tests. Much more to the point, straightforward. Head & Neck final block in gross was brutal. Those scores we don't want back.. ever.

A few other scores started rolling in today, phys went better than I expected, and I did awesome on Developmental (from Monday morning). The ones I'm still waiting on will be the worst, so I'll just keep waiting.

Enough about school though - tonight's going to be SO much fun! There are lab coats, dissectors, and lots of other random gross memorabilia to be burned. It's hard to believe we're here, seems like just yesterday we were planning this party and unsure if any of us would still be alive/in med school to attend it!!!

Brain vacation starts NOW.

The final countdown...

Thursday and Friday were interesting... All of the tests so far have been, for lack of better terminology, hell. They went alright, but nothing like I was hoping for. Phys especially was just super tricky. I've heard it's our current teacher. We'll see next semester I guess. That one was kind of a punt anyway, since we've got months of that class to go. Studied my butt off for Histo, and then it was pretty awful as well... ugh.

Praying that luck changes for Monday's Gross & Development (FINAL block!!). I've got a lot more studying to do before Monday, but I'm getting there. It's amazing how little you can know a week before and cram into your brain.. Of course, this leads to massive dumping of information after the tests, but it's survival skills at this point...

National Boards for Gross & Developmental are Wednesday. Don't wanna talk about that, yet. Must get through Monday first.

On that note, I should get back to studying. Needed a sanity break.. but the cranial nerves are calling.

I heard it said a few days ago that this was the worst week and a half of medical school. I believe it.

It's DECEMBER!!

Today is the first day of December.... and the LAST developmental review session, the LAST prelab, and my LAST lab dissection.

It is a beautiful day, and I thought I'd share. :)

17 days til freedom!

Amazing week-end turns into amazing weekend!

Friday's biochem test turned out much, much better than I was hoping for. Pleased to see one of my higher grades in the class so far! Only 3 more tests (one regular, comp final, and boards) until the world of biochem goes away for a while...(until Step 1 prep)

The rest of yesterday was pretty darn good as well... and then today I went to JFC for the first time. What a ministry! I was in awe of the privilege I was given and the gratitude of the patients. My first blood draws went great - must run in the family. Mom's a great stick :)

Football today = amazing, as of replays and what I can gather. Hotty Toddy! Looking forward to a Saints victory tomorrow as well.

For the rest of the weekend, I'm getting my gross on. Weren't things much easier when we were kids and the bone of the head was the "skull"? Yeah, not so much anymore...

I've also got to do my research for Rounds in the NICU monday. Looking forward to a self-made long weekend :)

Sweet November..

So I realize that I haven't posted in quite a while.. decided it was time for an update. Blacktober is OVER and we survived, for the most part. The last round of Gross/Developmental grades are up and I was pleased. These days, having more tests behind me is the most pleasing part!

43 days til Christmas break. 15 more tests to go.

I start shadowing in the NICU at Wiser tomorrow, quite excited about that. I've missed the babies. Looking forward to getting back in the clinical setting and reminding myself what we're going through all this for.

Congrats to HemeOncDoc for passing Step 1!!!!!!!

Update... and 50 days til christmas!

Lacey is doing wonderfully. Continue your prayers that her pain would lessen so that her therapy can proceed quickly and she will only strengthen from here on out. Glory to God!

I got my H1N1 shot this morning. Yay, shots. Ha. I just don't have time for the swine flu in the midst of first-year craziness.

In mention of M1 craziness, we have two tests tomorrow (Biochem, Histo) and three on Monday (Gross Practical & Written, Developmental Anat) followed by Physio next friday. Continue to pray for our class as we are just so absolutely exhausted at this point. FIFTY DAYS TO GO!!!! This is gonna be the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny effin Kay!

Next friday afternoon I start shadowing in the NICU. So very excited :)

I see the light...

I've almost made it through. Monday marks the final 2 of the test block. I never thought it would come. I've pulled decent grades out, wasn't as happy with this biochem as I could've been, but after the exhaustive state under which I took the test, I felt pretty good with the outcome.

In other news, we had a very emotionally intense lab today, in which we trisected our cadaver. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Personally, I thought she was fine in one piece. Definitely the most disturbing lab ever... just in time for halloween, the 7th floor is full of legs... ahh.

I'm trying my best not to get overly ill, but the exhaustion has settled into my lungs as an asthma flareup. I wore an awesome mickey-mouse mask (thanks, peds clinic!) during lab today to keep the bone fragments out and my cough in - even though I'm pretty sure I'm not contagious at all, with all the flu stuff, people are wary. For me, it's a combination: lots of germs around (never sat in a classroom with 120+ people during cold/flu season), not enough sleep, and change of weather... which, although it has made me ill, is absolutely AMAZING. I LOVE the cold.

Time to finish the white chicken chili I've got cooking and start preparing for Monday's massacre by histo...

Two asides: It's been exactly a year since I got accepted. How much has changed in a year... Congratulations to the first members of the UMC Class of 2014!!! Enjoy this time!!

Second: VOTE FOR BATSON if you haven't done so yet. Voting ends in an hour!! xbox.childrensmiraclenetwork.org

Great test week results!

Everything with the tests turned out better than fine - God is so good. I am blessed to remain on this journey for another day.... even though I'm whining about studying tonight, haha.

Mom came up this weekend and did that mom thing - cleaned house, cooked, and generally made me feel like a human being and not a robot again. God bless moms! :)

Tomorrow will be a good day - I have two classes and then I'll be done at ten for the rest of the day. I plan on getting ahead on studying for the next test and getting excited about the two-hour House premiere at 7. I've promised myself that if I study enough I can watch it live instead of tivo'ed later. Ah, the little things...

Have a great week everyone!

Grosssss...

Today was the first Gross/Developmental test marathon.

Parts went great. Parts went pretty icky. I don't think icky enough that they'll kick me out, but let's just say I'm glad the practical and written are averaged, haha. I thought I'd do better on the written and it totally went the other way.

Live and learn, I suppose. It was the first test... It'll just get better. I won't get disheartened. That way, I can look back on this post when they finally get our tests graded (towards the weekend) and remember telling myself that :)

I'm exhausted. The way they do those tests is insane...

Praising God for small miracles..

I genuinely was afraid I'd failed my biochem test yesterday, but ended up doing very well :) Genetics is still up in the air, I'm sure he's trying to figure out how many points to curve (30...40...50... there were def some ppl in our class who didn't study at all).

After that, we did hand dissection. It was our first shot at skinning which was a nightmare. We started at three and left at 530, just as frustrated as ever. Not the idea for today. We're supposed to start at one but our 11 oclock lecture was cancelled, so I'm forgoing small group bible study in order to get that dissection started. I'd ideally like to get home early, but even "on time" would be okay. I was exhausted after the test yesterday and didn't get much if any studying done last night.

God, hold me. Give me strength when I have none - to finish this dissection and begin to hammer all the gross concepts into my head. It's going to be a long few days.

This is what everyone warns you about - being chronically exhausted. Blah. All I want to do is sleep - the one thing I CAN'T do. :(

Just a few more days and three more tests to go until I can breathe again.

A month has passed... really?

We've been in school a month now. Hard to believe. Somedays it feels like it drags, then I look behind me and realize how much we've already gone through. The rundown so far:

Gross - I still like it. I'm not crazy about lab time (or spending time in the lab when I don't have to), but it's alright. Learning the stuff is fascinating. There's a lot of it - but it's all so clinically relevant that I don't mind.

Biochem - I still hate it. This block's first lecturer was better, but then we got another accent... Will I ever get used to the accents?? Downfall of going to a tiny undergrad/grad school I suppose..

Histology - haven't had any this block, we start back next week.

Genetics - I really like Genetics, it's just hard to force yourself to study for something at A) is worth 1% of your grade and B) the professor tells you you can't fail.. He has the weirdest, most hilarious dry sense of humor too. Sometimes I find myself going "I can't believe you just said that..."

Developmental - Pretty sure I'm the only person in the class... that I know of at least... that likes developmental. The self-study is great for me, and I think the material is way interesting.. but that's the babydoc in me I guess.


Tuesday block test: genetics and biochem. Guess what I'll be spending MY weekend doing. Le Sigh. You suck biochem.

I live for the weekend...

This morning we had our Gross Practice Practical. It went really well - I was quite pleased. I need a little more work on my identifying nerves vs arteries, but the rest was good to go.

After lab, I went to try out Berry Berry Good Yogurt. Best idea ever. Best place ever. I'm hooked.

Fat free, sugar free, low calorie - guilt free. 12 flavors and you build your own. My choice today was cheesecake with raspberries, strawberries, blueberries and blackberries :):)

It's been a great day. Time to study biochem.

Week... three?

The days are already starting to blur. Today we started small group bible study, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be one of my favorite parts of the week. Dr H is wonderful (kudos to the M2's and up who recommended the study).

Biochem is still biochem, but this block is better. It makes more sense and I'm a lot happier with the professor.

I still like learning Gross and Developmental Anat... the tests are going to be heck, but Rohen's and the Moore book are my second bibles these days. So far, I'm doing better at identifying the structures than identifying what they do. Ah. It'll come :)

Ummm... other than that, yeah, life's pretty much study study study. I will NOT get discouraged. God brought me here and He will bring me through it. Every day I wake up, I'm thankful for the opportunity I have - to whine, moan, complain, and spend entirely too much time studying.

Thank you, God. I can't wait to serve you as a physician :)

Happy Birthday to Me!

So, nothing says you're an M1 like spending your birthday in the gross anatomy lab...

PIG was so much fun yesterday. Dr. C. is awesome. K and I are both gonna be M1 reps for this year and I'm excited about that. Sounds like a lot of baking and playing with kids - both of which I love :)

Genetics is a treat in and of itself. These powerpoints are insanely long, and its so depressing/non-motivating that the class counts like 1.4% of our final grade.

My family is coming into town tonight! So excited!

Hope everyone has a great weekend...

I PASSED!

I passed my biochem test and owned the histology one :) Yay for first tests being out of the way!

PIG tomorrow. Couldn't be more excited.

Met my cadaver yesterday. She's skinny. Very, very skinny. We also received a box of bones, which I promptly had my lab partner take home. Human bones in my house are just a little creepy at this time.

With all that was going on yesterday, preparing for the tests, I didn't have time to do the reading for Gross... and Gross (this block at least) is going to be an adventure, considering that our lecturer has one of the thickest accents ever. Yay for hours of wasted time sitting there listening, then more hours of coming home and memorizing.

Anyway, I had to share my celebration. Back to the grind! :)

Yay for a new week!

I'm feeling much better about last week's material and excited to start anew for several reasons:

CMDA on Tuesday at lunch, be there....
PIG on Thursday at lunch - come nominate yours truly and K for M1 reps! BabyDocs FTW! I'm so pumped....
There's that birthday thing on Friday :) ...


Gross Anatomy starts this week. That's a combination excitement/dread.

Then there's that test thing on Wed that I'm not quite so excited about. But it'll be over soon.

Yeah, it's gonna be a great week.

One week down... 36 to go :)

The end of the week finally came! It was an amazing ride this week, learning lots of neat stuff... even when it's something really boring, it's cool to see it all put together in a big picture. And oh, what bliss there is to 64 hours of no new material! I finally had a chance to get through all of it... and it's not nearly as intimidating as it seemed. The biochem is definitely more intense than the histo, but it's almost all do-able (I've yet to get all the math problems down... stupid math).

Of course, Dr. Hawaiian Shirt still has a few lectures to give on Monday... But it's all good. I'm not there yet, but I know I'm on my way... Bring it, first test!

(Just wait til Wed, please :))

In other news, we'll be starting Gross on Tuesday. That will be an interesting turn of events. Kind-of hoping I get assigned to group B so I'm not dissecting on my birthday... But, the way things normally go, I'll be knee deep in formalin for 4 hours. And my family can enjoy the smell of it over dinner, because I've heard that showers don't necessarily rid you of the odor.

Yes - that's right. The family's coming to town next weekend and I cannot wait. Yay for birthdays!

(And now, back to biochemistry...)

Book list & Insurance...

Today I got the book list - met up with K at the bookstore, that was kind-of fun and unexpected. We were both ISBN and good price searching. Seems to have worked out well. Haven't ordered a lot b/c I'm going to meet with my buddy first and see her recommendations. I did order a few essentials, and I picked up my DISSECTION KIT!!! at the bookstore. (Sorry, getting a bit excited here). Funny thing is - the dissection kit doesn't seem very complex... I keep wondering how in the HECK these tiny hemostats are going to be good for anything.

Tomorrow morning I report to the VA for some kind of fun fingerprinting of sorts. Should be entertaining if nothing else.

11 days til orientation!!