#1 - "Please stand clear of the doors...Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas..." - Narrator, Monorail

I'm still alive - and it's been so long, that I'm not really sure where to start. Second year wasn't very blog-worthy on a day to day basis, and the not so fun stuff just wasn't worth sharing. But the good and the bad are both memories now.

I'm one STEP (USMLE Step 1) closer to licensing. Finals, the lead up and incessant studying, as well as the test itself - it's all still kind of a blur. And maybe it's supposed to be that way. I did what I could do, and I'm trusting God with the results.

On to more fun things, like Mickey Mouse. As I type I'm staring at a half-full "European" size suitcase (you know, the kind you take when you go to Europe for a month?). I haven't been on a real vacation in so long that I sort of forgot how to pack. Who am I kidding, I've always overpacked. We're (Me, M and N) are leaving for Disney World tomorrow. I'm looking forward to lots of good food, good friends and finding all the magic that's dribbled out of my life for the last couple of years.

Let's get this celebration/girls' trip started!!!

PS: Who's an M3? I'm an M3!

"One of the hardest lessons as a doctor is learning to prioritize"

Meredith [voiceover] One of the hardest lessons as a doctor is learning to prioritize. We're trained to do all we can to save life and limb, but, if cutting off a limb, means saving a life, we learn to do it without hesitation. It's not an easy lesson to learn, and it always comes down to one question, "what are the stakes?" What do we stand to gain or lose? At the end of the day, we're just gamblers trying not to bet the farm.

Somehow it's been a month since I've updated on the exciting goings on of my life (insert rolled eyes here). Honestly, the excitement is pretty dim these days. I'm going to skip all the day-by-day mumbo jumbo and hit on a couple highlights, just to let y'all know I'm still alive.

-Final Witnessed H&P - This is a complete history and physical exam done on a real patient, by me, and watched by a real doctor (my preceptor) that happened last week. It went better than I could've hoped, and I seriously cannot wait to be an M3 and doing these kind of things every day.

Suture Lab - Yup, I sewed a pig's foot back together. It was pretty cool. A challenge to begin with, but I got the hang of it. I'm hoping to get some good practice on OB/GYN so that I won't look like a complete idiot by the time surgery rolls around.

Other than these two "exciting" things, life is all about finishing the next 7 days of the classroom and 9 following tests... then that big one.

But on the other side..... Hellllllo Mickey Mouse! :)

"Buenas dias senorita, my siestas are getting shorter and shorter." - Jose, Tropical Serenade

A bit of a different quote this time - direct from Walt Disney World's Tropical Serenade (formerly known as the Tiki Room). Jump start to the exciting parts of the last month that can finally all be blogged:

1 - My sister and brother in law are expecting! I'm finally going to be an aunt in July!! As you can tell, I'm not excited AT ALL about this prospect.

2 - Another really good friend from college is also expecting, due in late April. Babies everywhere... I can't wait.

3 - Walt Disney World will be happening at the end of May/early June with my best med school buddies as we celebrate the end of an era/error (the culmination of two CRAZY years) and have some fun before wards start.

4 - Christmas, of course. I love spending time with my family :)

It continues to be a wild ride. I have set a date for the fourletterword - May 23. The only thing getting me there is what's coming after.... Disney, M3, and baby. In comes the quote of the title - my siestas must get shorter and shorter, and my study hours longer and longer. As usual, there's only One who can get me through the next few months. I rely fully and honestly on His grace, assurance, and comfort.

...Done, finished, complete....

This year, I fought a beast. Or two. Or three. Okay, Okay, 37 weeks worth. It was hard, but it was worth it.

As of 1:15 this afternoon, I'm an M2. It hasn't sunk in. At all. I keep thinking it's a dream and I'll wake up Monday morning and have to go back....

Instead, I'll be waking up Monday morning (or Monday afternoon) on the beach. Hello, summer. How I've longed for you... and how much fun is going to be had.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do first (OK - first I'm going to the M1-transitiontoM2 party), but it sure as heck won't involve studying. My brain is screaming "Freedom"!

Goodbye, spring break... Hello, neuro..

Today is the final day of a week of bliss and sleep. No, seriously, I stayed in bed until lunch just because I knew that things would be very different this time tomorrow. So let's take the week day by day:

Friday: finished up the board, relished in the fact that phys was (almost) over, spent the afternoon eating leftovers and watching Nanny McPhee with two of my favorite girls, said our goodbyes (a week feels like eternity when you basically spend ALL of your time with the same people), and packed a bit.

Saturday: Headed South. Got home, saw my parents, went to visit my friend A - we went shopping, eating, catching up. Found some peanut butter fudge with my name on it at a local gift shop... drool. I've never had it before, but I'll definitely have it again.

Sunday: Lazy day at home. Didn't do much of anything. Made plans for Monday, slept a lot, watched some tv.

Monday: Started off the day at good ole WCU. So much fun to see my old coworkers, catch up with everyone. It's funny how while some things change, others seem to stand still during the test of time. I'm grateful that some of my best friendships fit into that category. Had lunch with L, then went to visit K & B in Financial Aid and see if they had any more information on ObamaLoans than I did... yeah, not so much. But I got lots of gossip and caught up on everyone's lives, and that was fun. Then I waited impatiently for my sister to get off work and headed to her house as soon as I could. I miss her & M so much. We had a great dinner that M cooked for us - bacon-wrapped cheese & jalepeno stuffed grilled chicken. It was heaven. He is an amazing husband (and a pretty darn good brother in law). B came over to eat with us, and once again, catching up was great... more of those "friendships withstanding the test of time".

Tuesday: Headed South (yes, further south). Tax day. ALWAYS fun. Wasn't too bad actually, and I'm getting a nice refund. Got to see my puppies for the first time in a very long time, they were sooo excited. I was too :). Went to see my cousin on hospice, then went to dinner with the grandparents. OS is known as the town in MS with the most restaurants per-area. 106 to be exact. People in my hometown know how to eat. Starting with my grandparents, who might as well be food critics. I said seafood (I mean, who can go to the coast and NOT have seafood?) and they found the perfect place. I ended up with Creole Mahi Mahi.. drooool...

Wednesday: Went to visit my great grandmother at the assisted living home for a few hours. We had a really nice visit, it was great to catch up. Then I went to get my hair cut. I've been thinking/talking about doing Locks for Love for a really long time, but I figured it would be next year before my hair was ready. Recently, I realized it'd been getting really long really quick, so I had been thinking more seriously about it. Turns out, there's a local lady in our hometown who takes donations and makes wigs specifically for Mississippi kids. I told S to chop off that ponytail :) Not only is my cut a great change, and I really like it, but it was so rewarding doing something for the kids.

Thursday: Down day. Basically a repeat of Sunday.

Friday: Back to H'burg, Dad got new tires put on the car and I went to see Bounty Hunter with M & S. It was sooo funny (and you can never have too much sister bonding time). I finally did FAFSA and the rest of the financial aid stuff that's already "late", but M1 year kind of took precedence.

Saturday: Back to Jxn :(, cleaned house, groceries...

Sunday: Here we are. The end of a fairly unproductive, almost study-free week. Tonight we're going to get the girls together and give a last hoorah to Spring Break before neuro starts tomorrow. I can't help but be a little nervous about that... it's a lot of material, and only 8 weeks. However, God's always right there, and so are my girls! We're going to kick neuro butt. We also start psych... and being only a few classes short of a master's, that one doesn't bother me a bit ;)

Tomorrow we're having our PIG officer's meeting for next year, and PIG's bake sale/PIG roast events are kicked off in full force. I've got lots of baking to do this week. It's gonna be a busy one, but I'm ready.

M1 year - last round. Me vs. neuro/psych. I'm going to win. Just sayin.

Vacation is what we take when we can no longer take what we've been taking...

We have reached the end of physiology. It culminated in a week of test hell - Monday was respiratory, Wednesday was the cumulative class final (40 pages - I'm pretty sure several forests were killed in the making of that test) and this morning the NBME exam. The saturation point has been reached, and I'm pretty sure that if we'd had one more I may not have even shown up. Oh yes, it was that bad.

Funny thing about med school - from day to day, it seems like we're dragging, like we're never getting anywhere. And then you turn around and M1 year is almost gone. I stand in awe at the work God has created in me and around me this year, thanking Him for the amazing people He's put in my life along the way to make things just a little bit easier... and thanking Him for his grace. Grace enough for one day at the time. To somehow be able to look back and say "we did it". No matter what the grades are at the end of the week, the month, the year - we survived. And in the midst of it all, maybe even grew.

Spring break plans? Almost non existent. Lots of visiting with friends and family, catching up, getting the taxes done before I don't get financial aid next year, and getting a haircut. I plan on sleeping a lot and eating a lot more, living in the moment, and soaking up every hour I'm given.
.....however, I'm kind of ill that we're "given" one hour less than we should be due to Daylight Savings Time. Of COURSE we'd have spring break the one week that you lose an hour *roll eyes*.

I'll spend the next week preparing myself mentally for the last 8 weeks. I hope everyone thoroughly enjoys their breaks!

Can vacation go on forever?

I'm finally beginning to feel caught up on sleep, family, and friends. For the first time in a long time, I feel like ME again. All the things first semester tried to change or take away have been renewed, and I'm ready, willing, and able to go at it again for five more months. Or I will be after next week.

Talked to Dr. C today, and did better on the Biochem board than expected. Eases my grade worries, and assures me that there'll be no more biochem in my life until Step 1 studying, and then NEVER AGAIN (in the classroom format at least).

Hope everyone's having an AMAZING break. I know I am. Read two real books today and watched two bowl games. NFL: Vikings and Bears up next. Go Bears! Since the Saints aren't showing their best side these days, we're looking for a little help from the Chicago club to help us clinch homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

As this is my med school blog, I find it important to share that I've done absolutely nothing school related since that biochem board on Dec 18th. And I will continue that plight, full speed ahead, for about another 6 days. I'll devote part of Sunday to preparing for going back Monday morning. But until then... life is easy. For the first time in a long time. And I'm IN LOVE with it!

Congrats to all my friends who are now officially M1.5's. We made it!

Two tests to go til M1.5!

Two tests til Christmas break!!! I just can't wait to go home and see my friends and family... it's going to be heavenly.

Wednesday night post-gross board "Coat Burning" was WONDERFUL! We had SO much fun. Too much fun to mention, perhaps, but coats were burned and books were burned (shame, I know) and scrubs were burned... and we've joined the ranks of all M.D.'s who made it through Gross Anatomy. Board scores should be back soon... looking forward/not looking forward to that.

Now, just some Biochem stands in the way of me and break. M has been WONDERFUL in teaching me biochem the 2nd half of this semester, couldn't have done it without her. Thank God for great friends, especially those who were biochem majors. I still love Handel and Rutter, but they haven't helped me much in biochem.... :)

Come on, Friday. Time to go home and spend some quality time with S. I hope everyone is having a great "finals" week, and I'm praying for ALLL the M1-M4's who have tests between now and then!

Gross is OVER!!!

Gross Anatomy is OVERRRRR! And barring some absolute disaster, I passed :) The NBME shelf went waaaay better than our typical tests. Much more to the point, straightforward. Head & Neck final block in gross was brutal. Those scores we don't want back.. ever.

A few other scores started rolling in today, phys went better than I expected, and I did awesome on Developmental (from Monday morning). The ones I'm still waiting on will be the worst, so I'll just keep waiting.

Enough about school though - tonight's going to be SO much fun! There are lab coats, dissectors, and lots of other random gross memorabilia to be burned. It's hard to believe we're here, seems like just yesterday we were planning this party and unsure if any of us would still be alive/in med school to attend it!!!

Brain vacation starts NOW.

I'm coming home.. to the place where I belong...

It's the night before the final "regular" biochem test, and instead of studying, I find myself completely distracted. Tomorrow marks the first time I've gone home since the semester started... And it's a funny feeling. I'm incredibly excited to see family and friends that I haven't seen in WAY too long, and to celebrate Thanksgiving... but then again, school is looming. Comprehensive finals and boards are right around the corner. There's not enough time to do it all, and what am I doing? That's right. I'm taking a few days off.

I'll probably regret it later, but I'll regret it sooner if I lose my sanity before the final stretch even begins. At some point over the weekend, I'll resume studying. I'll wait as long as possible. I'll probably almost lose my mind next week. But some things just can't be replaced. The joy of the holiday season with family, after being away for so long thus far and going through so much, is one of those things. I don't think anyone can truly understand unless you've been here. And this isn't a "down on med school" post. More just "I'm tired. I'm really tired." I'm ready for a REAL break. Not this time when you're supposed to be enjoying life and professors are screaming out the back door "don't forget to pack the skull!" - Ok, maybe they didn't exactly say that... but that's the point.

And my point? I really don't think I had one tonight. Just was looking for something else to do besides study. Anything else. Because I just don't know how much more I can take. Lord, bring lunchtime tomorrow quickly!!!

The continuation of a summer of nothing...

This week, I got back to town and then went to M & S's (brother-in-law and sister) for a few days. S and I had a wonderful time - M is out of town with the youth on a Fuge trip, so we got to spend three days living like we were in college again. I miss them already and haven't even moved yet.. right now, I'm only about 20 minutes from her at any given time..

I'm sad that I keep missing pre-orientation fun (Free Clinic orientation, Habitat stuff, etc)... different members of the class are really starting to bond and it sucks that I'm not able to be there much yet. Oh well, I suppose there'll be plenty of time for bonding come August 4th as we spend the next 4+ years together.

Hopefully I'll have time the second half of July to squeeze in a little mentoring time with my buddy and get together with K... and maybe J + D as well. Then it'll be off to the races.

Tomorrow I'm going to eat with my friend A and we may do some shopping/looking. After I sleep in of course - my sister is a notorious early riser, which means I've kept her up late and she's gotten me up early since Wednesday!

Prayer requests: As usual, all the babies fighting for life in the NICU at FGH (that unit has such a special place in my heart); my brother in law and the youth at Fuge, continued help with goodbyes and anxieties about relocating, and a few unspokens. Thanks guys! :)

It is done!

The hardest goodbyes have been said... I finished work on Friday, and walked out of Tatum Court for the last time as an employee. I'm sure I'll be visiting some this summer... but as a student and employee, I am officially done.

My coworkers and friends could not have done a better job making the day memorable and as fun as possible. The baby even came up at the end of the day to lighten the mood :). I love you all sooo much and you know I have a second bedroom in Jxn, so you better come recruiting up north! Ha!

I took off for home the following day, and I'm settling in to a routine of no routine. It's the first Sunday night in a long time that I haven't truly dreaded Monday. I do have an eye doctor appt AND dentist appt (ICK! Nicole, hurry up and start/finish dental school!) tomorrow though. If the dentist finds anything, he's gonna do fillings while I'm there hopefully. I may have to go back one more time.

Wednesday I'm getting my hair done - and for those of you who've only known me in college, it may look a little weird... but I'm going back dark (almost natural) since I won't have time to keep it up in med school and I think it looks awful growing out. Oh yeah, I'm chopping it off too...

Then this weekend is the big going-away bash! It's mainly family and family friends, so there won't be any tears there - I know I'll be seeing all those people again it just may be a little while. We may make a visit up to J-town to secure the apartment as well.

It's getting closer... and I'm getting excited. Here we go!