Christmas at Batson

Wards has been super fun the last few weeks. Yes, using the terms "wards" and "fun" in the same sentence should be highly frowned upon - blame it on the Christmas excitement!

Batson is happier than ever with Santa roaming around, lots of trees and decorations, Child Life with their never ending supply of Christmas decorations, and happy(er) nurses and doctors. On the other hand, it's bittersweet. It's always so sad to see kiddos in the hospital for Christmas. I remember how hard my pediatrician always tried to get us home. Whether I was completely ready or not, if I was on the mend, we were discharged Christmas Eve so we could have Christmas at home. I'm hoping we can "clean house" in the next few days for that same purpose.

Tomorrow is our last day on wards and our last call. It's bittersweet. I'm ready for a break, but I'm also finally in the routine/rhythm and really enjoying the rotation. I just don't want it to end. The bonuses: When I come back, it's a week of nursery (with my favorite attending on in the NICU, so I can spend my afternoons there!) followed by heme/onc and specialty clinics; it's thismuchcloser to fourth year (only 3 more rotations + elective stand in the way); and somehow, despite the crazy slowness of the day to day, it's that much closer to intern year.

Believe it or not, eventually I'm going to be a doctor. And that eventually is coming quicker than I imagined. Where did third year go? I'm not sure, but I'm not going to miss most of it too much. Just hope life slows waaaaay down for the "best year of our lives" coming up in July!

PS: Made surgery elective requests yesterday. Pray with me for Peds Surgery as my elective please!

General Peds

I'm having so much fun doing what I love every day, even when I'm tired at the end of it (and can't shake the runny nose/asthma cough/overall blah from Thanksgiving). I'm pretty sure I've run into the "peds crud". Even if it lasts for the next 2 years, I'm still in love with my chosen profession.

Soaking up every day, every wheeze, cough and cry. Learning as much as I can. Enjoying working with my team. And wishing it didn't have to end so soon!

In other news, I've finished Sam's very special Christmas present. I can't wait to spend the holidays with that little bugger this year! It's even more magical than usual having a little one around :)

I'm going to venture out and do a little shopping on my day off today. Hopefully I won't hurt anyone in the process.

'Tis the season to be wheezin'

I love peds. I love my new team (shoutout hemeoncdoc). I love my patients. And I especially love my attending, who was quoted with two awesome sayings today:

"Tis the season to be wheezin"

"I'm looking for the weasel, he's hiding in there!"

Asthma. Is. Everywhere. Or as my favorite intern says "Asthma is the hypertension of pediatrics".

Stuff in My White Coat: Part I

I cleaned out my coat to wash it this afternoon, and just for fun I thought I'd share my findings:



Included but not limited to: Critical Care Meds FastSheet, Antibiotic Coverage Guide, "The Maxwell", a penlight, "The Dinosaur" (reflex hammer and child distractor extraordinaire), my badge, my pediscope, two advil, some plastic tape (the only kind of "bandaid" your two year old can't get off faster than you get out of the office), a green pen, a black pen, a lapel pin.... keep diggin. I'm sure I've got what you need in there.

Thanksliving and Peds Palliative Care

The other night I saw on TV about a fairly new phenomenon that's becoming quite popular called "Thanksliving". In this event, the turkeys are the guests of honor, and they partake of a vegan Thanksgiving meal with the humans. A fascinating idea that is quite nice for our feathered friends, but unfortunately I like turkey way too much to celebrate Thanksgiving without it.

However, the title of the meal has really struck a chord with me as I started pediatric palliative care this week. I've been completely in love with the subspecialty. It's definitely something I feel my heartstrings tugging toward. In just three days I've really learned about "Thanksliving". It's not a day we celebrate so much as an attitude we should have (and these kids have) every single day. They wake up and celebrate just being alive. They find joy in simple things (today - turkey and homemade macaroni and cheese that the awesome nurses brought in because the kids' menu isn't built around holidays and last year they had hot dogs on thanksgiving). They belly laugh. They speak with their eyes, sing with their hearts, and pierce my soul.

And that's why from this day forward, I'll try to constantly be in a state of "Thanksliving". But I'll always have my turkey :)

Things I love about peds: "The Grin"

This may be a new short series I work on over the next few years: things I love about peds. I decided to start with a very basic one.

Somewhere along the road of adolescence, we become conscious of "the grin". By adulthood, it's rare to see someone break out into a true "I just won a million dollars" grin (unless they did, indeed win a million dollars. Or occasionally when you deliver a baby. Or perhaps if you tell someone their cancer is cured.) But generally, we lose the ability to just look like a complete fool and grin like our cheeks are going to split.

Kids don't worry about what everyone else thinks. You don't have to rock their world to get "the grin". In fact, 9 out of 10 times all you have to do is smile at them (which turns me immediately into above mentioned fool looking like my cheeks are going to split). Or play with them. Or ask about football, school, friends. Or hand them a dinosaur reflex hammer (has totally come in handy already).

That absolutely pure, simple joy is one of the things I've fallen in love with about peds already. And sometimes if you're REALLY lucky - you'll get "the belly laugh". Stay tuned for that episode at a later date ;)

Finding my place..."the decision"

"Keep an open mind", everyone said. "Don't decide what you want to do early, you'll change your mind a million times". Before I ever went to med school, I knew I wanted to be a pediatrician. At orientation, I wanted to be a pediatrician. After first year, I was pumped to spend a summer in the NICU where I was completely in love with the babies. Second year, I still wanted to be a pediatrician.

But then, third year came. And all the advice/doubts/worries started flooding my mind. "Keep an open mind". I looked at every rotation as a possible life choice. First was OB/GYN. I LOVED delivering babies. For the first time, I questioned my lifelong goal of becoming a pediatrician. I thought "if I hate peds, I could do this for a living.". Sure, the hours suck - and I'm not much on the GYN, but delivering babies, that's cool. Next was internal medicine, which I quickly knew was not for me. Same for psych.

I convinced myself I wouldn't like teenagers (maybe peds isn't for me).... then I had one on IM and loved it.
I convinced myself I wouldn't like school age kids... and then I loved it.
I never questioned my love for the babies, but all the pieces began to fit together finally.
I prayed, and I prayed hard. That I'd be able to "keep my mind open", and if peds was NOT where I was supposed to be, I'd be open to His ultimate decision.

This week, all the confidence I had in myself and God's plan for my life aligned. Yes, pediatrics IS for me. I'm happy to get out of bed every morning. I smile all day. I love playing games to get a physical exam done because a little one is crying, I love making my job fun, I love the people that work in pediatrics, and I love the happiness that's been brought to my life in just three days. I can only imagine the joy (and sure, heartache) that will join me for the rest of my life.

So for all of you who think you know what you want to do, don't question yourself. "Keep an open mind", but trust yourself! Sometimes you just know from the beginning. And somewhere deep inside I've always been a pediatrician.

Regardless of the fact that I have a couple rotations left (surgery, family) and intend to get all the good out of them I can, I'm signed on to a life decision. It's a good one. And my life is happier because you may allow me to be a part of your child's.

Psych is OVER!

My time in the psych ward is officially over. Yes, I felt halfway like a patient at the end. LOL. Six weeks is a LONG time to deal with inpatient psych, and I definitely ruled out the specialty fairly early - hard to believe, but it's much more exhausting (to me) to hear about your emotional problems than your physical ones.

Yesterday was the CSA exam... I felt better about it, think I'm beginning to numb to the "oh shit" of it. Today was the board, which was fine... just another board... is it just me or does it seem like the question stems get longer each time??

Tonight I'm headed to Mistletoe to do some crazy shopping for my nephew for Christmas and hopefully find myself a few cute pair of earrings for my next few months on PEDS! Tomorrow, I've got a massage scheduled.. and Sunday I may go see a matinee all by myself. This is a relax/recharge weekend. I'm so excited about finally officially being a part of the dept of peds until February 5, and I can't wait to go to work on Monday! (Such a change from the last few months...)

"The future is never the way we imagined it"

After a weekend crammed full of love, family, and melting memories into something new and beautiful, I figured I should share.

Friday I got to thinking about old memories and the good times we "used to have" as a college group. While rocking my beautiful nephew to sleep, I decided that those memories are nothing compared to the ones we're making now. To have these people in my life - to have literally grown up with them... I'm amazed to see how much we're all the same and how much we've changed over the past eight years (wow... that's a long time). To see that little boy smile makes every sad moment melt away. To know how much he's changed my life and to stand in awe of how much he's changed his mommy and daddy. We're all very blessed. It is so comfortable coming home to my "new normal".

Saturday we made family rounds - which was an interesting experience. For the first time in my medical "career", EVERY person I met had to tell me about their problems. I literally worked harder at the "you should see your doctor" and "I'm not sure, I'll have to look that up" than I actually work any day on the wards. I realized that this is what my life will become... our family used to have nice, normal people conversations.... now it's all "bombard the future doctor". Surely that will improve with time (one can hope).
If not, it's wonderful to know that my non-med school friends still see me as a little crazy and more friend/less doctor.

After all, I'd much rather discuss 4 month old coos, horror movies, good ice cream, bad dates, sleepovers and new tv series than medicine 24/7/365.

Speaking of new tv series... Once Upon a Time in 40 minutes. Yay!

Can you show me just how far the east is from the west?

Blog title is from one of my favorite songs these days, but also serves well for the new area of Psych. 7East is indeed an entirely different world than 7West, and I love it. Dr. N is great, our resident rocks, and the best part is the half-days. And the best friend factor. :)

Wednesday we took a field trip to the State Hospital. I must say, it was a lot less restrictive/more "welcoming" than I expected. I think it was an important part of the rotation, because I'd be a lot more apt to recommend it to a patient now than I was before. And the grounds are beautiful - no wonder back in "the day" the docs that worked there lived there as well. The geese tho, the geese were loud.

Pretty sure I've made this statement before, but if I haven't, I've officially decided psych isn't for me. It requires waaaay too much questioning of your own sanity and is heart-wrenching to me. Two more weeks and then....

PEDS! :) <3

"Code White - 7W"

The last week on 7W was very interesting. Tuesday we had our CPI training (Crisis Prevention and Intervention) and it was just in time. Wednesday was a scary, scary day. Starting pretty much before 8 AM, our first code white had been called. And this code white was very similar to a code blue at the VA - a complete cluster, and nothing like what we were taught in CPI (IE: Code white to CPI as Code Blue VA is to ACLS). Patient was eventually, with the help of a SWAT team, taken down and subdued... for a while. Then someone had the brilliant idea (read: least restrictive environment) that it was safe to return them to general functioning....

5:30 PM - Code White #2. Pretty much as awesome as the first, with complete return of SWAT team. I've decided FOR SURE that psych is never in my future after that experience. I've never been afraid for my life or those around me with a patient before, but I wasn't sure if we were all going to make it out alive on Wed.

And Thursday... we had to do it all over again (show up, that is). Patient was more subdued and we were able to "soft code" once and never needed SWAT... but everyone stayed on edge.

Good news - Psych Rotation 1 and Midterm are done. Three weeks to go and I'll be in my happy place. Got the schedule for my first PedsElective and I'm super pumped! I saw the words "NICU" listed for Wednesday afternoons and began to drool.....

Life on the psych ward.... week 2

Another week down. Another specialty checked off the list. It's not that I'm utterly miserable (when I'm working - everyone's miserable when they're sitting), it's just not my thing. Mental/Emotional change is a lot slower than physical critical/care style change. Occasionally we have a patient come in that makes a spectacular recovery in a few days - that's cool. But that's the unusual. In fact, most of our patients have been headed to MSH lately instead of home :(.
At least I'm learning all about the mental status exam and how to do it right - and quickly. And my team rocks.
One more week on this service. Tuesday is our CPI training if they don't cancel it again. CPI stands for Crisis Prevention and Intervention - pretty sure I could've used that before now.... but it's another certification to add to my CV I suppose.

Went to Sams yesterday and bought myself a centerpiece for the table for Christmas... then put it on the table. Yes, it's October. Yes, I'm crazy. That's what happens when you're locked in a double-locked down unit for 9 hours a day, sitting in a room staring at three other girls and wondering if/when your attending is going to round. But with Pinterest and my new word search book (also from Sams), I feel as though the last few long days on the unit may be a little less stir crazy. :)

Weekend mental health break

The week was... interesting. I can't say unexpected as everyone had told me exactly what to expect from this service, but it was fairly exhausting nonetheless. I had this overall dream world place in my head where psych=sleep... and that hasn't really been the case yet. Two more weeks on this part of the service.

This weekend I took a mental health break and headed south as soon as I got the OK from 7W to do so. Friday afternoon/evening traffic leaving Jackson is always a joy (and a main reason I usually get up early Saturday morning and drive down) but I wanted the extra sleep and extra time at home. I managed to be caught in the Pearl High School Football convoy alllll the way to the Laurel exit (SN: did Pearl win whoever they were playing? I feel like we bonded in that hour..)

I got to get LOTS of baby love which is all the mental health break I needed. Somehow the world just melts away when I'm holding that little boy and he's slobbering on me. Quote of the weekend was my dad looking at him and saying "You're really going to fix those for a living?". He always can make me laugh.

Today was his church dedication - I was grateful to get to be there, and it was very exciting for our little college family to come together for the occasion, minus a couple. It's amazing how much things have changed - and on the other hand - stayed the same over the last 8.5 years.

And the best part? Seems like Sam's doing a real good job of keeping us all together. I fall more in love with that little boy everyday... and I'm blessed beyond measure to be his aunt.

Welcome to 7th floor....

The Psych Sorting Mug (yes, we picked out of a mug) was good to me. #12. This means I spend the first three weeks on 7 West (General Inpatient Psych) and the second half of the rotation on 7 East (Med/Psych). Overall, orientation went smoothly complete with a three hour lunch break.... M and I treated ourselves to Corner Bakery (complete with cookies that we saved for during the afternoon's lecture). Yes, you read that correctly... lecture. They suckered us into two hours of lecture while we were orienting. After all the sitting about and "learning", we went on a tour of Seventh Floor... and I can't lie, I've been in lock-down units before (South State Hospital), but it's always a little creepy, and a little sad.

Even though I have no interest in psychiatry as a profession, I'm looking forward to the next six weeks.... learning how to deal with people on the edge, and hopefully helping bring them back.

Did I mention our mornings start at 8 AM? I think this is gonna be a nice breakrotation.

A new era... and the Psych Sorting Hat

A new rotation ushers in a much-needed blog overhaul. Hope y'all like it!

In other news, I've officially requested my first LOR and unofficially set a date for Step II CS (thanks to my awesome best friend who is determined that we can go together). Time is going by so fast! I can't believe how quickly this year is flying... and how much there is left to learn/do before those two little letters are at the end of my name.

Still a little nervous about starting psych, simply due to the unknowns that go with it. This whole picking out of a hat for your rotations.... I'd rather let the hat pick for me.

PS, psych sorting hat, I'm Slytherin with a side of Gryffindor. I'm pretty sure it's Ravenclaw that would be designed for Consults.... ;)

Internal Medicine is OVER!

Goodbye, internal medicine. Goodbye, grownups (for now, sort of). You see, next up is psychology... and we'll be dealing with a lot of adults who are stuck in not-so-adult situations or wanting to be kids again... or acting like them.. or something. It should be interesting. I'm kind of just going to pretend like it isn't happening and start counting down... 30 work days of that, and I'm off to peds! For ten weeks... just long enough that I really, really REALLY won't want to go to surgery afterwards.

I LOVED Blue House Medicine. LOVED my attending. LOVED my residents. LOVED my M4, and working with my best friend.

I still would rather do the most unpalatable job you can think of than be an internist.
Yay for ruling out one specialty!

noncompliance: disagreement, disobedience, dissent, objection, protest, refusal , defiance, rebellion, sabotage

The list of synonyms could go on and on....

The rest of the week has definitely gone uphill from my last two posts. I finally had my first "kid" patient - a crossover who just got old enough to leave Peds and come to the adult side... and even though it was a not so interesting case, I was hyped on the fact that I had a kid at all. Before she went home, we had a long talk on noncompliance with medications... which is an issue we face every single day in IM.

Medical noncompliance frustrates me to no end. I find myself having to bite my tongue to keep from saying what I really mean when I tell a patient "you have to take your medicines... if not, you're going to end up right back here again". But then they do... over and over and over again.

When I get super frustrated, I get to thinking about non-compliance in general. And I realize that even I suffer from this human error in some form or fashion every day. Just because I take my medications when the doctor tells me to certainly doesn't mean I'm compliant with every aspect of my life. Reading my bible for example.... ashamedly, I find myself extremely non-compliant with that. And I wonder if God feels the same way, like he just wants to shake some sense into me..... probably.

I'll try harder this week to be less frustrated with you not taking your medicines, even if it's gonna kill you. Because not taking care of myself spiritually could also kill me... and I do that way too much. I'll work harder to be more compliant and to help you understand how important it is that you join me.

Some days, it's amazing the lessons you learn from your patients... in the strangest places

cartoons and codes

This morning, one of our patients just didn't look right. Any physician you talk to will tell you that through clinical experience you'll learn that no matter what the numbers say, your gut will tell you when something is wrong. My gut was screaming as we looked in. Within thirty minutes of the workup, we heard "Code Blue.... X unit" overhead. No matter what the rest of the announcement said - M and I looked at each other and our stomachs dropped as we headed off in that direction. About ten minutes into the code, I looked up through the chaos towards the television that was set on Cartoon Network. I fully realize that with the specialty I've most likely chosen, most - if not all - of the codes I attend as a physician have the likelihood of having cartoon network in the background. And that shook me to the core. It got me thinking about how often life isn't fair, and how sometimes things just don't seem right. For an hour or so, I wished I'd become hardened so these type of events would be easier on me. The rest of the day, I prayed I never will.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. His will be mine. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me the opportunity to take care of your sons and daughters during their time here. Help my heart never harden to their suffering, help me always see things through your eyes - but grow me into the doctor I know I can be even on the most challenging days.

saying goodbye

I went into this weekend with excitement. It was the first two days I've had off in a row this month, and I was looking forward to resting and rejuvenating my soul to prepare for the rest of internal med.

And then, as quickly as the excitement began, my stomach dropped when I found out that my first patient passed away yesterday. How do you deal with a loss you aren't prepared for? Funny thing is, I maybe should've been... but I'm too glass half full for that. I can see why some people become jaded, it might be easier that way.

But I'd rather spend a few moments crying and reflecting on how this moment - and this person - changed my life. Yesterday morning, we spent several moments talking about the future - how the patient wanted to get better, to figure out what was really going on, to watch their high schoolers grow into men. A perfectly normal conversation you might have with your neighbor over your own breakfast. Just another day. Feeling well, but watchfully waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Then it did. And she was gone.

What I don't want to do with my life...

Now that VA-Internal Medicine is officially over, I can speak my piece about it. I. Hate. It. HATE. It wasn't my attendings, it wasn't my residents, it wasn't the patients...In fact, all those people were amazing. Especially my interns. I'm just not a fan of internal medicine (thus far).

Right now, I'm leaving that hatred at the VA, as I'm about to start a month of House Med with my best friend at the U, and I'm thinking I should enjoy that more :)

However, so far... it looks like there's something I can put in the "never ever do I want to do this in my entire life" list. Which is good. Lots of experience, possible paper write ups, things I hope to never see again but everyone else may or may not be jealous of (like a serum K of 15.5, a pt with lycanthropy..).

The VA.... it's a special place. God bless those who serve our country, and God bless those who've chosen to care for them. We owe you all.

"Every patient, every symptom, every operation...is a test. A chance for us to demonstrate how much we know. And how much more we have to learn."

This blog entry brings with it the end of OB/GYN. I've decided to write down a few of the highlights for later in the year when I'm trying to decide "deliver babies or take care of babies?"

Pros: Delivering babies, duh. Watching babies on the monitor. Helping mommies have healthy pregnancies. Turning not so healthy pregnancies into good deliveries. Turning not so good deliveries into the best situations possible. The residents (ah-mazing). The experiences (saw lots of things I'm sure I'll never see again). Surgery....?

Cons: GynOnc (onc is just so depressing...). The HOURS (and it's 10000x worse for the interns than the students... wasn't unusual for them to get there at 4 and leave at 8 that night). It's a tough, tough residency. I always knew it was hardcore, but I wasn't quite aware of HOW hardcore.

The Board: Meh. Not as bad as I expected.
CSA: Terrifying. But they'll get better as the year goes along I hear.

In other minute news, that fourletterword came back. And I'm pleased to report that I'm officially officially an M3 now :)

Becoming Aunt Meg

In a twist from general med school reporting, I'd like to update the blogging community on my newest hobby - spoiling my nephew, who arrived July 1st. He's absolutely the most adorable man I've ever laid eyes on.... I had no idea I could fall in love so fast.

A little of his birth story... my sister went to be induced Thurs night. As of Fri morning, the progress she was making didn't look like we were headed in a good direction - so my wonderful GYN residents told me to go home and be there for his almost-sealed C-section fate. By the time I made it home, he'd decided that maybe labor wasn't all that bad, as long as mom laid on one side in one position. She progressed fast and after a complicated/difficult delivery baby made his entrance into the world, changing our lives forever.

Congratulations to the two most wonderful new parents I know. I was blessed to be a part of labor and delivery, and grateful to be the proudest aunt in the world. :)

baby-catching

M3 year is a completely new, fascinating world. I'm glad I started on OB/GYN... I truly love it. Not that I'm surprised, I always figured it'd be my second choice behind peds. However, I'm putting a lot more thought into that than I ever imagined. I have one more week on the OB side, then I'll be on GYN... after that, I'll be able to make a rational decision as to my overall experience. But so far:
*GREAT small group (C, S, and S are fantastic partners and we work really well together)
*awesome interns
*surgery isn't as bad as I expected... never passed out, and I'm getting more used to the OR. Granted so far I've been on C-sections (but a couple of them were quite complicated).
*enough autonomy to make you feel like you're doing something, enough supervision to make you feel like you're not going to screw up
*baby-catching is AMAZING. Shocker, right?
*there's this emergency feel to L&D.. it's either super slow or crazy busy.

I don't think I'd do so well in small, "happy" (normal) practice... but I LOVE the critical care aspect of our population. OB/GYN with a Maternal Fetal Medicine fellowship is certainly not out of the question.

Tonight we switch to night schedule, which should be an interesting chain of events. I'm not sure how my body will handle the adjustment, but hopefully there'll be just enough activity to keep us awake. Plus side to nights: no lectures!!

#1 - "Please stand clear of the doors...Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas..." - Narrator, Monorail

I'm still alive - and it's been so long, that I'm not really sure where to start. Second year wasn't very blog-worthy on a day to day basis, and the not so fun stuff just wasn't worth sharing. But the good and the bad are both memories now.

I'm one STEP (USMLE Step 1) closer to licensing. Finals, the lead up and incessant studying, as well as the test itself - it's all still kind of a blur. And maybe it's supposed to be that way. I did what I could do, and I'm trusting God with the results.

On to more fun things, like Mickey Mouse. As I type I'm staring at a half-full "European" size suitcase (you know, the kind you take when you go to Europe for a month?). I haven't been on a real vacation in so long that I sort of forgot how to pack. Who am I kidding, I've always overpacked. We're (Me, M and N) are leaving for Disney World tomorrow. I'm looking forward to lots of good food, good friends and finding all the magic that's dribbled out of my life for the last couple of years.

Let's get this celebration/girls' trip started!!!

PS: Who's an M3? I'm an M3!

"One of the hardest lessons as a doctor is learning to prioritize"

Meredith [voiceover] One of the hardest lessons as a doctor is learning to prioritize. We're trained to do all we can to save life and limb, but, if cutting off a limb, means saving a life, we learn to do it without hesitation. It's not an easy lesson to learn, and it always comes down to one question, "what are the stakes?" What do we stand to gain or lose? At the end of the day, we're just gamblers trying not to bet the farm.

Somehow it's been a month since I've updated on the exciting goings on of my life (insert rolled eyes here). Honestly, the excitement is pretty dim these days. I'm going to skip all the day-by-day mumbo jumbo and hit on a couple highlights, just to let y'all know I'm still alive.

-Final Witnessed H&P - This is a complete history and physical exam done on a real patient, by me, and watched by a real doctor (my preceptor) that happened last week. It went better than I could've hoped, and I seriously cannot wait to be an M3 and doing these kind of things every day.

Suture Lab - Yup, I sewed a pig's foot back together. It was pretty cool. A challenge to begin with, but I got the hang of it. I'm hoping to get some good practice on OB/GYN so that I won't look like a complete idiot by the time surgery rolls around.

Other than these two "exciting" things, life is all about finishing the next 7 days of the classroom and 9 following tests... then that big one.

But on the other side..... Hellllllo Mickey Mouse! :)

"To a degree, medicine is a science...but I would argue that it's also an art."

"To a degree, medicine is a science...but I would argue that it's also an art. The doctors who see medicine as a science only, you don't want them by your side when you're bleeding won't stop or when your child is screaming in pain. The clinicians go by the book. The artists follow their guts. The artists feel your pain and they go to extremes to make it stop. Extreme measures. That's where science ends and art begins."

It's almost time to start practicing the "art" of medicine. I, for one, cannot wait. Making third year schedule requests was a little stressful and anxiety producing, but it absolutely could not have turned out better. I've always been excited about the clinical years of med school but now I just can't wait to get started!

Next year's schedule is as follows:
OB/GYN
IS/ACLS
Medicine
Psych
Elective 1
Elective 2
Peds
Surgery
Neuro
Family
Elective 3

We don't know electives yet, but my top choices were Genetics, Peds Palliative, Behavioral/Developmental Med, Peds GI, Peds Surg, Peds Allergy/Immuno, ENT, and SICU.

It's VERY exciting to finally be here. It's a struggle to continue studying... another block of tests are next week, then Spring Break - yay for STEP Study week instead of a real SB :(.

However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's the light of a penlight, and it's still at the end of the tunnel, but it is no longer a train!!

In non-med-school news, I've almost completed the Harry Potter series for the first time. That's pretty exciting as well. It's taking a while to finish 7 due to these upcoming exams, but I'm definitely a fan of the literary genius of JK Rowling.

I also found out last week that I'll be having a NEPHEW in July. We're super excited about Baby S's arrival, and I've already been shopping - that's going to be one spoiled little dude... and I can't wait!

"What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning..."

"What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to."

So, it's a new year. Practically February, and I'm just finding myself with the time (albeit in total procrastination) to update. It's really hard to blog this year.. primarily because I started this blog to be an insight into the parts of medical training that I may forget someday, and the little events that actually make things worth it. As we get closer and closer to May, wards are feeling farther and farther away. On the flip side, it feels like the fourletterword is coming up like a high-speed train. We've got exams starting again next week. It never ends. Some days are a drag just to get through. I am SO TIRED of the classroom. I'm tired of studying too much, sleeping too little, and feeling like it's never going to end. /endrant

In the midst of all my grumbling and complaining, I remind myself daily how blessed I am to be here, how much a difference my medschool friends have made in my life, and that we are truly only four full months away from being actual student doctors. Which leads me to the interesting topic of the week:

Monday we had something affectionately known as the "Male GU Demo". Now for those of you who are not in medical school or the medical professions, this is a time when we can all gather and learn what the male.... nether regions... are supposed to look like, as well as learn how to do the dreaded DRE (digital = finger, rectal = butt, exam = ...you get the picture). I really don't want to say much more about this, I just had to get it down so that one day I'll look back on it and laugh ;)

M's fiance finally came home from deployment, so I've managed to fit some fun hang out time in with them... other than that, it's just the usual school boredom. 3 more months in the classroom, then thefourletterword.

Come onnnnnnnnnnnn summer/Disney/June/wards/July/baby/therestofmylife...