cartoons and codes

This morning, one of our patients just didn't look right. Any physician you talk to will tell you that through clinical experience you'll learn that no matter what the numbers say, your gut will tell you when something is wrong. My gut was screaming as we looked in. Within thirty minutes of the workup, we heard "Code Blue.... X unit" overhead. No matter what the rest of the announcement said - M and I looked at each other and our stomachs dropped as we headed off in that direction. About ten minutes into the code, I looked up through the chaos towards the television that was set on Cartoon Network. I fully realize that with the specialty I've most likely chosen, most - if not all - of the codes I attend as a physician have the likelihood of having cartoon network in the background. And that shook me to the core. It got me thinking about how often life isn't fair, and how sometimes things just don't seem right. For an hour or so, I wished I'd become hardened so these type of events would be easier on me. The rest of the day, I prayed I never will.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. His will be mine. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me the opportunity to take care of your sons and daughters during their time here. Help my heart never harden to their suffering, help me always see things through your eyes - but grow me into the doctor I know I can be even on the most challenging days.