Finding my place..."the decision"

"Keep an open mind", everyone said. "Don't decide what you want to do early, you'll change your mind a million times". Before I ever went to med school, I knew I wanted to be a pediatrician. At orientation, I wanted to be a pediatrician. After first year, I was pumped to spend a summer in the NICU where I was completely in love with the babies. Second year, I still wanted to be a pediatrician.

But then, third year came. And all the advice/doubts/worries started flooding my mind. "Keep an open mind". I looked at every rotation as a possible life choice. First was OB/GYN. I LOVED delivering babies. For the first time, I questioned my lifelong goal of becoming a pediatrician. I thought "if I hate peds, I could do this for a living.". Sure, the hours suck - and I'm not much on the GYN, but delivering babies, that's cool. Next was internal medicine, which I quickly knew was not for me. Same for psych.

I convinced myself I wouldn't like teenagers (maybe peds isn't for me).... then I had one on IM and loved it.
I convinced myself I wouldn't like school age kids... and then I loved it.
I never questioned my love for the babies, but all the pieces began to fit together finally.
I prayed, and I prayed hard. That I'd be able to "keep my mind open", and if peds was NOT where I was supposed to be, I'd be open to His ultimate decision.

This week, all the confidence I had in myself and God's plan for my life aligned. Yes, pediatrics IS for me. I'm happy to get out of bed every morning. I smile all day. I love playing games to get a physical exam done because a little one is crying, I love making my job fun, I love the people that work in pediatrics, and I love the happiness that's been brought to my life in just three days. I can only imagine the joy (and sure, heartache) that will join me for the rest of my life.

So for all of you who think you know what you want to do, don't question yourself. "Keep an open mind", but trust yourself! Sometimes you just know from the beginning. And somewhere deep inside I've always been a pediatrician.

Regardless of the fact that I have a couple rotations left (surgery, family) and intend to get all the good out of them I can, I'm signed on to a life decision. It's a good one. And my life is happier because you may allow me to be a part of your child's.