Stuff in My White Coat: Part I

I cleaned out my coat to wash it this afternoon, and just for fun I thought I'd share my findings:



Included but not limited to: Critical Care Meds FastSheet, Antibiotic Coverage Guide, "The Maxwell", a penlight, "The Dinosaur" (reflex hammer and child distractor extraordinaire), my badge, my pediscope, two advil, some plastic tape (the only kind of "bandaid" your two year old can't get off faster than you get out of the office), a green pen, a black pen, a lapel pin.... keep diggin. I'm sure I've got what you need in there.

Thanksliving and Peds Palliative Care

The other night I saw on TV about a fairly new phenomenon that's becoming quite popular called "Thanksliving". In this event, the turkeys are the guests of honor, and they partake of a vegan Thanksgiving meal with the humans. A fascinating idea that is quite nice for our feathered friends, but unfortunately I like turkey way too much to celebrate Thanksgiving without it.

However, the title of the meal has really struck a chord with me as I started pediatric palliative care this week. I've been completely in love with the subspecialty. It's definitely something I feel my heartstrings tugging toward. In just three days I've really learned about "Thanksliving". It's not a day we celebrate so much as an attitude we should have (and these kids have) every single day. They wake up and celebrate just being alive. They find joy in simple things (today - turkey and homemade macaroni and cheese that the awesome nurses brought in because the kids' menu isn't built around holidays and last year they had hot dogs on thanksgiving). They belly laugh. They speak with their eyes, sing with their hearts, and pierce my soul.

And that's why from this day forward, I'll try to constantly be in a state of "Thanksliving". But I'll always have my turkey :)

Things I love about peds: "The Grin"

This may be a new short series I work on over the next few years: things I love about peds. I decided to start with a very basic one.

Somewhere along the road of adolescence, we become conscious of "the grin". By adulthood, it's rare to see someone break out into a true "I just won a million dollars" grin (unless they did, indeed win a million dollars. Or occasionally when you deliver a baby. Or perhaps if you tell someone their cancer is cured.) But generally, we lose the ability to just look like a complete fool and grin like our cheeks are going to split.

Kids don't worry about what everyone else thinks. You don't have to rock their world to get "the grin". In fact, 9 out of 10 times all you have to do is smile at them (which turns me immediately into above mentioned fool looking like my cheeks are going to split). Or play with them. Or ask about football, school, friends. Or hand them a dinosaur reflex hammer (has totally come in handy already).

That absolutely pure, simple joy is one of the things I've fallen in love with about peds already. And sometimes if you're REALLY lucky - you'll get "the belly laugh". Stay tuned for that episode at a later date ;)

Finding my place..."the decision"

"Keep an open mind", everyone said. "Don't decide what you want to do early, you'll change your mind a million times". Before I ever went to med school, I knew I wanted to be a pediatrician. At orientation, I wanted to be a pediatrician. After first year, I was pumped to spend a summer in the NICU where I was completely in love with the babies. Second year, I still wanted to be a pediatrician.

But then, third year came. And all the advice/doubts/worries started flooding my mind. "Keep an open mind". I looked at every rotation as a possible life choice. First was OB/GYN. I LOVED delivering babies. For the first time, I questioned my lifelong goal of becoming a pediatrician. I thought "if I hate peds, I could do this for a living.". Sure, the hours suck - and I'm not much on the GYN, but delivering babies, that's cool. Next was internal medicine, which I quickly knew was not for me. Same for psych.

I convinced myself I wouldn't like teenagers (maybe peds isn't for me).... then I had one on IM and loved it.
I convinced myself I wouldn't like school age kids... and then I loved it.
I never questioned my love for the babies, but all the pieces began to fit together finally.
I prayed, and I prayed hard. That I'd be able to "keep my mind open", and if peds was NOT where I was supposed to be, I'd be open to His ultimate decision.

This week, all the confidence I had in myself and God's plan for my life aligned. Yes, pediatrics IS for me. I'm happy to get out of bed every morning. I smile all day. I love playing games to get a physical exam done because a little one is crying, I love making my job fun, I love the people that work in pediatrics, and I love the happiness that's been brought to my life in just three days. I can only imagine the joy (and sure, heartache) that will join me for the rest of my life.

So for all of you who think you know what you want to do, don't question yourself. "Keep an open mind", but trust yourself! Sometimes you just know from the beginning. And somewhere deep inside I've always been a pediatrician.

Regardless of the fact that I have a couple rotations left (surgery, family) and intend to get all the good out of them I can, I'm signed on to a life decision. It's a good one. And my life is happier because you may allow me to be a part of your child's.

Psych is OVER!

My time in the psych ward is officially over. Yes, I felt halfway like a patient at the end. LOL. Six weeks is a LONG time to deal with inpatient psych, and I definitely ruled out the specialty fairly early - hard to believe, but it's much more exhausting (to me) to hear about your emotional problems than your physical ones.

Yesterday was the CSA exam... I felt better about it, think I'm beginning to numb to the "oh shit" of it. Today was the board, which was fine... just another board... is it just me or does it seem like the question stems get longer each time??

Tonight I'm headed to Mistletoe to do some crazy shopping for my nephew for Christmas and hopefully find myself a few cute pair of earrings for my next few months on PEDS! Tomorrow, I've got a massage scheduled.. and Sunday I may go see a matinee all by myself. This is a relax/recharge weekend. I'm so excited about finally officially being a part of the dept of peds until February 5, and I can't wait to go to work on Monday! (Such a change from the last few months...)