"The key to surviving ... is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed..

"The key to surviving ... is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed.. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial."

Pretty good quote for the week. It seems as though life in general has been a big basket of denial for me lately. Denial that second year is in full swing, denial that the weeks are starting to fly by, denying the inevitables that are coming both in the next month and in the next 9 months. But sometimes, you just can't deny any longer.

In a moment of weakness Wednesday night, I purchased nine months of access to USMLERx, my first question bank for the *gulp* fourletterword. School buys the great bank (WORLD) for us, and we can start it whenever, but i've heard such good things about it that I want to save it for closer to actual test time. The fourletterword is also spoken continuously at school. The M3's came to give us advice, Doctors In Training came to sell their products... and it's just week two. Which leaves me wondering just exactly how psycho our "super gunner class" will be come spring semester. I can't deny (although I'd like to) that there's a bit of fear associated with the fourletterword, but it's going to be just fine. I'm going to pace myself and learn the material as I can this year, study FA along with my review books for class tests, do question blocks that match the material we're learning in class, and try my best to keep God first and NOT freak myself out. Because like my sister told me Wednesday night, He already knows exactly what I need and exactly what I'm going to make. There's a peace in that. It's still a big fourletterword in my life, and will be a major player in the next nine months. But I've got some amazing friends to keep me grounds, and M walking the coals alongside me.

Had a great lunch with a NICU friend today. Nice to be able to gush about the babies and be not only loved in spite of it or for it, but to be completely and utterly understood. YAY NICU team. I hope she's my nurse someday :)

The first PIG meeting is next week, and I'm pretty excited. I'm hoping we have a good turnout - but we always do :). There are some exciting things in the works for the club this year... so all the future pediatricians, please come out and hear what we've got up our sleeves!

I'm beyond grateful for a weekend. I'm at the tired enough to be almost sick point, and hoping some extra rest takes care of that. It's going to be a busy week. I think I've got something going on Wednesday night that I can't remember right now... Thurs is Pig and Thurs night the Three Muskateers are going to a painting class (stay tuned for info on how the non-creative babydoc did during said experience).

In wrap up, the class week was fairly boring. I'm still going to class, along with 20-30 other people. It's not that I get more out of being there, it's just I'm afraid i'd sleep too late if I stayed home and therefore wouldn't be as productive. We'll see how long this lasts... I'm giving it my best shot. Oh, and immunology needs to die. It sucks. It's boring, and there's just nothing anybody can do to change that.... except perhaps Clinical Immunology Made Rediculously Simple, which is sitting out on the porch in its box from UPS. That's how excited I've been about studying tonight. I think I'll just let it stay there a while.

Back to the Saints game and overall veg-out-til-I-feel-better.