In the quiet of the night, you can hear the heart beat..

I've officially been "Olemissbabydoc, M.D.", for 42 days. It's still strange, still different... But I'm adjusting, along with my fellow interns. 

Many firsts have been had with many more to come. Night float month brought first orders, first pages, first uncertainty, first tears, and first reassurance that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I couldn't have asked for a better upper level to share that first month with - A never left my side and never went to bed telling me to fend for myself. She helped me learn to trust my decisions and walk through the process. Although it was exhausting, I think we both learned a lot. No babies were harmed in the making of this intern. 

This month is an entirely different bird. I'm on cardiology elective - that means M-F, 8-4ish. Those are like, real people hours! I'm slightly overwhelmed at all the re-socializing (but loving it. Although I'm a loner by nature, NF was a little TOO lonely). There's a lot of conference-going and clinic time. On that note, I also started my own clinic and have been twice so far. Now THAT is a very weird experience. The first week I had an M1.5 working with me, this week an M3. I'm looking forward to being comfortable enough that I feel like I'm actually able to teach them something - right now I think I'm pretty pitiful at that (still learning to be the doctor). Once again, I've got fantastic mentors guiding the way. 

I quickly learned that I made the exact right decision on what to do with my life as well as where to train. It's a team sport, and my team ROCKS!

The last month of limbo... the last month of freedom.

Graduation has come and gone. The hoopla, the long coat ceremony, the heavy velvet regalia, the after parties.

I woke up the following morning a doctor, no longer a medical student.
 Scratch that. No longer a STUDENT.
Yes, there's lots of learning involved in residency and being a doctor in general... but I will never, ever be a full time student again. As exciting as that was, it was still a tiny bit sad. No matter who will actually admit it, most of us must've liked school or we wouldn't have made it this far. The thought that that part of my life is officially over (when it's all I've ever known) is still strange.

Don't have too terribly much time to think it over though, as somehow the last week flew by and there's only two more before orientation kicks off, along with all the daytime exhaustion and night-time fun it can bring. I'll be working myself into a more "night" schedule towards the end of the month to prepare for night float July 1.

I've waited my whole life for this. Even though it's more than a little terrifying, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Bring it!

Ready or not, here we go!

Long coat tomorrow night. Graduation Friday. WOAH. Family starts coming in tonight, friends and more family tomorrow. I'm soooo excited to celebrate with everybody and let them see the house!

At the same time as my grad celebration, we're having EK's 1st birthday party. The pupcakes are currently in the oven, the smash cake is done. This mom goes all out.

I've gotten into these make money from doing random things apps lately. iPoll and Surveys on the Go specifically. So far, SOTG is easier, and I'm making Amazon.com money from both, so pretty excited about that. Hit em up if you've got a few extra seconds of time :)

Happy Graduation week, everyone!

Happy end of med school...

Tomorrow is my last day EVER of medical school. Woah. It's been a super fun, super busy month. Genetics is wonderful. I've learned a ton and look forward to many more years of it.

In the meantime, we've moved into our NEW HOUSE and it is just great! Ellikate loves having not one, but two yards to play in (our front is courtyard fenced), and we've got about three times the amount of space we had before. It's open air and play room!

Tomorrow our hardwood floors arrive in the bedrooms, and then the furniture can move in and our lives can come together completely.

25 days til MD. Woah.

We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? "

On the other hand, do we really want to?

What a week. Monday I found out that I matched. But to back up a little bit, I started house shopping last Saturday with Melissa to get an idea of what I liked and mainly to keep my mind busy. I found two that I just loved.

Monday, I went with my awesome realtor for Round 2. Found two more that I liked better than most of Saturday's, with the 4th house we saw still remaining by far my love.

The week in general is a blur. I did some furniture shopping, we returned to "the house" (and I was still in love). And we waited. Waited on Friday, waited on God, waited on my future to be revealed.

Friday was exhausting. Terrifying. Nervewracking. Worth every moment of sweat and tears it took to get to this point. "Olemissbabydoc, Pediatrics, University of Mississippi". With that, the next three years of my life were sealed. The people I would train with, grow with, cry with, laugh with. In that moment, I knew I was blessed beyond measure  - and then it got better.

Momma, Daddy, Me and N went to the "top three" houses with my wonderful realtor V. Mom and Dad liked the first two, but loved the one I loved. It has a courtyard in the front for ElliKate to play, and a huge fenced yard. The details are simply perfection, the master bed and bath are awesome, the scored concrete will be a godsend for cleaning. The kitchen island will easily hold several dozen cookies for cooling and decorating (a baker's dream). The location is perfect. I made an offer that was set to expire in just a few hours.

When I woke up Friday morning, I was just a kid. When I went to bed, I had a pediatrics residency and was a pending homeowner. It was surreal and still is. All I can say is God is SO good, and we are full of praise. I continue to pray for my friends and colleagues to whom "the match" was less kind. All over the country, very qualified US seniors were denied training positions - there just aren't enough spots for the demand. And that is heartbreaking. We all worked equally as hard for this dream and we ALL deserve it. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord".... I know He is in control on His throne as always, even when we can't understand it.

A big thank you to all of you who've been with my on this journey so far, for your support and encouragement. Please join me as I begin "Growing into my Long Coat" :)

Enjoy the time you have before the news comes...

"They say ignorance is bliss because once you know about the tumor or the prognosis, you can’t go back. Will you be strong or will you fall apart? It’s hard to predict so don’t worry about it. Enjoy the time you have before the news comes. Yep, ignorance is bliss."

Tomorrow surgery comes to an end - and with it, the formal part of my medical school training. I've got a research month left in April, but that's more "looking toward residency/fellowship" than finishing up med school requirements. In a way, med school is over in 21 hours.

I think I have PTSD, or I've sniffed too much anesthesia gas second-hand this month. I'm already forgetting all the terrible stuff and just super excited to be at this point. So even though I'm nervous/slightly anxious about what March 15 will bring, I'm bright eyed and ready for whatever it is.

In the meantime, I'll embrace the fact that the fellow thinks I have a little "inner surgeon" and let my "inner pediatrician" that is exhausted come back out. 3:30 is not the appropriate time to get out of bed. I'm really glad my specialty choice defends this ;)

Do not alarm the makers of the tiny humans. They will eat you alive.

"This is not general surgery on a miniature scale. These are the tiny humans. These are children. They believe in magic. They play pretend. There is fairy dust in their IV bags. They hope, and they cross their fingers, and they make wishes, and that makes them more resilient than adults. They recover faster, survive worse. They believe."

Day 1: Peds Surgery.
 I realized rounding this morning that much of that quote is surrounding the 5C nurses station. Loved it!
This rotation so far is kinda fun. It's early mornings and long days, but rewarding. I feel like I'm going to get a pretty good bit out of it (if only when to consult/not to consult/who to talk to, etc). I'm gaining an appreciation for what happens in the OR and the stress the patient must be under after. For some reason, it's a lot more real on kids (probably because I like kids more, but I digress). Watching the NICU peanuts on the table all draped out, you can't tell they weigh 500 grams. Then the drapes come down, and you're faced with the reality that maybe, just maybe, this is why they didn't want to rush this kiddo to the OR. Of course I'm always going to find myself siding 80/20 with the neonatologists - but that 20% is going to be gleaned this month.

The surgeries can be more technically difficult due to the size, and at a few moments today I found myself thinking that Dr. W looked a lot like a vascular surgeon operating with the mag goggles on... lol. But alas, it was a whole baby under there.

Not only am I covering the NICU (and LOVING it), we were done for the day at 4:15ish and I'm off this weekend!

If only the next 27 days could go like today...

This. Is. It

ROL made and certified with no intentions of changes.

55 days til Match.

12 days til Peds Surgery.

At least the latter will keep me tired/busy/preoccupied.

Cooking experiment of the day: Cauliflower crust pizza. It was pretty yummy, even though it stuck to the aluminum foil :( Next time I'll try parchment paper like the recipe called for.

Excited to see my family tomorrow... and to have a long weekend. Need to finish my presentation for Tuesday... sounds like a good MLK project ;)

Match Countdown

January 10.

Last class meeting tomorrow.
ROL opens in 5 days.
Match is 64 days away.

I've picked a #1 and #2... not so much a 3-5. I've got one interview left if I can muster the energy to go.

In other news, I'm on Radiology elective this month. It's nice to be back in the hospital, albeit the basement. The best day so far was Tuesday - Peds. Shocker. I'm going to spend the last two weeks over there with the peds rads people. I'm learning a lot,but I'm verrrrry tired. Dark rooms and 8 computer screens at a time are not for me.

I've been doing a lot of house hunting as well.... talked to the bank and will likely put my offer in on something in mid-March (if I match at home). Otherwise, it'll be April/May as the house hunting will have to go on the road.

The holidays were quiet - I was sick with flu/pneumonia for most of the holiday season.I was grateful to have time off previously scheduled but it was depressing to miss the "last" family holidays for a while.