"Doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future"

"Doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future, planning it, working toward it. But at some point you start to realize your life is happening now. Not after med school, not after residency, right now. This is it. It’s here. Blink and you’ll miss it." - Grey's, Season 5 Now or Never

Its been an insane crazy year, and it's not getting any easier anytime soon - this senior planning stuff is tough! As a senior in college, I didn't have any of these fears/trepidations/worries... I knew I was going to be at Carey another year getting my pre-reqs in. So this is seriously a throw back to high school.... only now, it's not my dream - it's my reality. The exciting part of the last week was senior schedules coming out!!

July - Medicine SubI, UMC
August - NICU
September - Peds Wards/Externship/Residency App Due
October - Peds ER

(...deep breath...)
November - Review of Pharm/Interviews
December - Interviews, Holidays with the Fam (who knows when that'll happen again!)
January - Senior Radiology (a bit unexpected, but I'll take it... easy month, good experience)
February - Peds Surg
March - Peds GI/Match
April/May - Off/Graduation/Relocation

...Wow. Seriously, sometimes I think all I did was blink and it's over. Before the "fun" year gets to start though I've got 8.5 weeks to finish third year, bring a newborn puppy home, and take Step II CK and CS. No big deal.

I've got one nerve left, but I'm still loving life. Thanks, God, for your immeasurable blessings!!

Specialty decision

Late this week we received an email asking us our top three residency choices (so that they can assign our dean for dean's letter).

I wrote back: Pediatrics.

To which the non-medical person responded: I need three choices.

I wrote back: I suppose you can put OBGyn and Family if you really have to have two more, but the thought of anything else makes me unhappy.

To which she wrote back: You've got to have options in case you can't get in.

To which I thought: This isn't neurosurgery, folks.

Later, I came to the realization that she meant maybe "I couldn't get in" with the dean who normally does the peds letters. But the thought of spending my life doing anything BUT taking care of children? No thank you.

I'm a bonafide, certified, undeniable pediatrician-in-training. Give me stickers, suckers, and make me work for my ear exams any day. Keep your hypertension. I'm glad it takes all types to make the world go 'round, and I'm glad there's somebody out there who wants to be my doctor - cause I sure wouldn't. :)

Losses and New Beginnings...

It was a wonderful week when I brought LilaGrace home. Unfortunately after about five days, she started acting funny - like something was just really wrong. She was born with a soft spot in her head that we didn't know if it would close or not, but the vets all said just to keep a close watch on it. Long story short,she ended up with hydrocephalus progressed rapidly and her intracranial pressure was so high she had something of a constant really bad headache.

It was the saddest day ever when I had to put her down. But the most humane thing that could be done.
Immediately I knew to heal I needed another baby. I called the breeder and after crying together for a bit she told me there was a brandnew litter and I was of course to have pick of it.


Today I went and made my pick:

Elli Kate, mommy loves you already! Can't wait to get you home in about 5 weeks!