Happy birthday, sweetheart...

Happy Birthday... it's something we say every day in the NICU. The lullaby plays over the Women's Hospital loudspeaker, another baby has been born. It's another Happy Birthday.

Sometimes those birthdays aren't quite so happy. If a birthday comes too soon, the human part of each of us may be wondering exactly what the baby is doing here. The part that believes in God's ultimate plan never wonders that. Sometimes I find myself a little too human, a little too heartbroken. I suppose I'll struggle with that for the rest of my life. However, it's a struggle that fits - a struggle that feels right. You take the good with the bad, you hope you can make a difference, and you pray. A lot.

Back on the subject of birthdays... we recently had a baby celebrate their "third" birthday with us. You see, almost everyone celebrates their "first" birthday here... that's Day 1 of life. Then there's the "second" birthday. That's the day you were SUPPOSED to be born. Your due date. More often than not, that birthday is spent here as well. But the third... that one is rare. So we celebrated. Like any family celebrates their child's true first birthday. Ok, so our party attendees couldn't have cake - and couldn't actually attend the party at the bedside... but that child had more "friends" at his birthday party than any one-year-old I know! The next day, the sad reality kicked in. The banners were still up... "happy birthday"s all over the bed. But the baby had turned sick overnight, and we were all reminded exactly why it'd been a year that he'd been living in these walls. I pray your second year, and your "fourth" birthday, is happier and healthier, little one. And until you can make it on your own, we'll continue to hold your hand.. and God will always hold your heart.