At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing (the end of an era at UMMC)

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away."

Tomorrow morning, I'll walk into the University of Mississippi Medical Center for the last day of the "beginning" of my medical education. I'll walk out Tuesday a private practice physician, with the land of academia behind me.

If you happen to be one of the people I cross along my journey tomorrow, just smile and be a little more gentle. I'm piling a lot of memories in this 24 hours.

I'll start by parking where I parked exactly 8 years ago preparing for orientation to my first day of medical school - excited and terrified. I'll have to walk past that first classroom (where biochemistry owned me) and that bathroom I cried in a lot. Then I'll walk past the newborn office (I'll stop by there Tuesday morning to clean my desk off) much like I did many days during med school, praying I'd be behind that door someday.

As I journey towards the nursery for my last experience rounding (with Dr. Mink), i'll pass the Peds Lounge and offices... where I spent hours upon hours in the last 4 years, learning how to save other people - and myself. When we lost patients, when I lost family members... we loved on each other and held each other up behind those walls.

I'll spend the day and night with my littlest loves and some of my best coworkers. I wish I could tell you all exactly what I'd learned from you and what part you'd played in this journey, but I'm not strong enough. Just know I'll always have you all in my thoughts and prayers, and I'll always be grateful for the opportunity to love on babies with you.

Most of all, I'll have as many moments of quiet reflection as possible. In learning how to save others, I lost myself. But much more importantly, and much more proudly, God brought me back to a place of joy, blessing, and love.

I could pour my heart out for hours, and I'd never help you all understand what the last eight years has meant to me. From the day I answered God's call into medicine until tomorrow when He brings me back home to love on His people in my community, it's been a journey marked by unknown blessings that were so much bigger than anything I humanly could've imagined.

So I'll take one more moment to make a plea: If God isn't first in your life, put Him there. He will do amazing things more than you've ever imagined. If you're not sure how to do that, find me tomorrow. There's no greater send-off I'd like to give than you a life with my Eternal Creator. I'll love all of you forever - keep saving babies. And keep saving yourselves.

God's greater plan

I've been struggling about how and when to make this post for quite a while. You see, I was one of those kids of always had my life all figured out.  I would grow up, be a neonatologist, and save all the babies in the world.

This is where the story changes.
This is where I get real with you.
This is where God comes in.

 I started fellowship, and I loved being with the babies. Around the same time I also fell in love with a long time best friend and  began to learn the joys of having children in my life that weren't just at work.  The relationship flourished, the babies grew, and I missed out. A lot.  Consistently. Time after time I found myself at work or crying and exhaustion that I couldn't be home or do what I wanted to do for myself or my family.

 This is where things get really tough. This is why I tell you that the girl with solid dreams forever contemplated quitting medicine altogether. These are the days I couldn't get out of bed. Depression and scary thoughts In overworked doctors are real.  They can happen to anyone you know and love.

That very  Day, I reached out to a friend who had been joking about going to work with for a while. Through a series of fortunate events and nothing short of God's greatest blessings, I'll be starting a new job in a few months at the children's clinic in Hattiesburg. I'll be near my  Family and friends, I'll work a fraction of the hours I do now, and I'll be taking care of myself.  Because no matter how much you love your job you have to come first.

 I'm sure all occasionally miss the hustle and bustle of the NICU, and I will always look back fondly on my memories. But I'm proud of myself for stepping out in faith and knowing there's so much more to life than what I committed myself to twenty years ago.

People don't change. Priorities do. I am so thankful to be old and wise enough to see it and yet young enough and fearless enough to follow through. I'm building a house, a practice, and a LIFE. God continues to be good to me every day. I can't wait to give back to the Hattiesburg community.

Welcome home to me. Both to my soul and my relocation.

-Dr Meg